4. Stop running and face the pain. Avoiding pain is often what led to the affair in the first place. Facing it is terrifying but necessary. Just shut up and listen; take courage and talk.
5. Walk on hot coals. Express your remorse and sincerely say that you will do whatever it takes to re-focus on the relationship. Then do it.
More from YourTango: 3 Tips to Protect Your Relationship from an Online Affair
6. Take responsibility. Resist assigning blame. The affair is a symptom of something very wrong in the relationship. Both parties need to dig deep to discover and accept their share of responsibility. If the real issues aren't addressed, nothing has changed.
7. Forgiveness. Everyone involved needs forgiveness in order to heal. Both parties are injured, both parties are grieving, both parties need forgiveness.
8. Time. This is essential to fully healing. Once injured, trust is like those tiny flowers that manage to live in the harsh environment of the tundra. Protect it, cherish it and with time something that once appeared so vulnerable will turn into something beautiful and incredibly strong with deep, sturdy roots. 5 Ways To Move Beyond An Affair
A good relationship counselor can help you negotiate these steps and more that may be unique to your particular situation. This is just the beginning.
More from YourTango: 10 Tips To Survive The Holidays