8 Steps To Strengthen Your Marriage After An Affair

By Dr Elvira Aletta. Posted on Jan 17th 2012.

An affair will hurt a marriage but it also has the potential to make it even stronger!

4. Stop running and face the pain. Avoiding pain is often what led to the affair in the first place. Facing it is terrifying but necessary. Just shut up and listen; take courage and talk.

5. Walk on hot coals. Express your remorse and sincerely say that you will do whatever it takes to re-focus on the relationship. Then do it.

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6. Take responsibility. Resist assigning blame. The affair is a symptom of something very wrong in the relationship. Both parties need to dig deep to discover and accept their share of responsibility. If the real issues aren't addressed, nothing has changed.

7. Forgiveness. Everyone involved needs forgiveness in order to heal. Both parties are injured, both parties are grieving, both parties need forgiveness.

8. Time. This is essential to fully healing. Once injured, trust is like those tiny flowers that manage to live in the harsh environment of the tundra. Protect it, cherish it and with time something that once appeared so vulnerable will turn into something beautiful and incredibly strong with deep, sturdy roots. 5 Ways To Move Beyond An Affair

A good relationship counselor can help you negotiate these steps and more that may be unique to your particular situation. This is just the beginning.

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Dr Elvira Aletta

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Dr Aletta is a clinical psychologist, founder of Explore What’s Next, wife, and mom. Dr. Aletta is a writer whose articles have been featured on the New York Times Well blog, the Wall Street Journal Online, Parents magazine. She's been interviewed on National Public Radio and the BBC London Radio. To learn more about Dr. Aletta visit Explore What's Next, check out the EWN Facebook page and follow her on Twitter!

Location: Amherst, NY

Credentials: PhD

Website: http://explorewhatsnext.com

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