8 Steps To Strengthen Your Marriage After An Affair

By Dr Elvira Aletta. Posted on Jan 17th 2012.

An affair will hurt a marriage but it also has the potential to make it even stronger!

Few things harm a relationship more than an affair. Whether the affair is emotional, a 'one night stand,' long term or a cyber-affair, the betrayal delivers a life altering blow. Will the injury to the relationship prove fatal? 15 Steps To Surviving An Affair

In my experience as a relationship counselor, there are some essential steps a couple must take for there to be any hope that the relationship can survive an affair. If done wisely, there is hope the relationship will come through the ordeal stronger than before. Here are eight steps that can help save your marriage.

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1. End the affair immediately. Kindly, completely, utterly. This has to come first if you are serious about reconciliation. 'Friendship' is not an option.

2. Re-commit to the relationship. If either of you aren't sure about staying together then, for God's sake, say so! Confusion is OK but just don't let that be an excuse to avoid talking about the reality.

3. Full disclosure. If your partner wants to know the details, you owe them the details. Help them understand the reality because believe me, as bad as it is, it isn't as bad as what your partner is imagining. Sometimes, they really don't want to know. Let them tell you that directly. Ingorance may be bliss but don't assume they don't want to know.

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Dr Elvira Aletta

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Dr Aletta is a clinical psychologist, founder of Explore What’s Next, wife, and mom. Dr. Aletta is a writer whose articles have been featured on the New York Times Well blog, the Wall Street Journal Online, Parents magazine. She's been interviewed on National Public Radio and the BBC London Radio. To learn more about Dr. Aletta visit Explore What's Next, check out the EWN Facebook page and follow her on Twitter!

Location: Amherst, NY

Credentials: PhD

Website: http://explorewhatsnext.com

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