5 Ways To Leave Your Lover

By Dr Elvira Aletta. Posted on Feb 10th 2012.

break up — Leave your Ex behind & put the pieces of your heart back together!

Why do we take him back more times than is good for our self-worth? How can we finally tell him no?

3. Instead of, "I've invested five years in this guy....I'm going to start all over now?": Tell yourself, "Imagine yourself at 50 and you're thinking, 'Why didn't I get out when I had spent only five years with this jerk instead of twenty-five!?'"

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4. Instead of, "He says all he needs is some time to [fill in the blank] before he can make a commitment.": Tell yourself, "What is this? A relationship or a lay-away program? In the service of self-respect I will not wait for you unless we have a mutually agreed up, reasonable plan. Without that, you can look me up when you are done crossing all your t's and dotting all your i's. You take your chances that, by then, I will still be interested."

5. Instead of, "He's as good as it gets.": Tell yourself, "No, Baby, he's not. If being with him does not make me feel great about myself, I won't settle! This experience, as bad as it was, has not been a total waste. It's made me wiser,, so that when a guy who is true and kind and worthy of me does show up, I will recognize him."

I've counseled a lot of women who came to me to help them get unstuck from a hurtful relationship. Once they took the leap and faced their fears, they find the power to break up a bad relationship for good.

The result? A whole new level of happiness and pride because the engine of their self-worth is fueled, not from the outside-in, but from the inside-out.

To stay connected to Dr. Aletta visit Explore What's Next, Like the EWN Facebook page and follow her on Twitter!

More from YourTango: 8 Steps To Strengthen Your Marriage After An Affair

Break Up With Your Ex Day is February 13. Find out more at breakupwithyourex.com.

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Dr Elvira Aletta

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Dr Aletta is a clinical psychologist, founder of Explore What’s Next, wife, and mom. Dr. Aletta is a writer whose articles have been featured on the New York Times Well blog, the Wall Street Journal Online, Parents magazine. She's been interviewed on National Public Radio and the BBC London Radio. To learn more about Dr. Aletta visit Explore What's Next, check out the EWN Facebook page and follow her on Twitter!

Location: Amherst, NY

Credentials: PhD

Website: http://explorewhatsnext.com

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