Great Sex. Horrible Kisser.

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Great Sex.  Horrible Kisser.

We've all been there...the notorious BAD KISSER!  And it really doesn't matter how gorgeous he is, how much money he has, the car he drives, or even the equipment he's working with and how he uses it.  If a man's a bad kisser, that can easily dominate the situation and make everything else a moot point. 

So what is a damsel in distress suppose to do about a lousy lip-locker?  Well, we've all heard the expression, "You can't change someone, so just love them as they are." Well, that's only partly true. Who says you can't teach an old kisser new tricks? In many ways, we teach our partners just as much as they teach us about how to make love in a new way that's essentially a melding of the two styles into one.

Try telling your boyfriend that you love having sex with him but you want to experiment with new styles of foreplay and kissing (kissing is, in many ways, foreplay). Or ask him to try changing one specific thing like holding his breath or keeping his lips more rigid or more soft. The trick is to communicate in a relaxed manor, experiment in a fun way, and to give feedback to one another to make sure you're on the same page and enjoying the act equally together.

When it comes to what makes sex work, touching and kissing are almost tied for first place. Kissing can be magical! Whether it's your first kiss with a new partner or the last kiss with an old love, kissing can be magical. On the other hand, kissing can become boring and routine. The good news is that there are a million ways to execute a great kiss.

Come to think of it, why should you stick with the same way of kissing for your entire life? Maybe you've always preferred a gentle kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips. Maybe you've grown out of the deep tongue-dancing "French" kisses we all started with as adolescents. Don't be afraid to switch it up, tone it down, or twist it a bit to make it more fun and exciting.

Kissing, like sex, should be fun. It should be exciting. It can be done casually as a "goodbye kiss" or intensely as a "hello kiss." It's never too late to change how you like it, or how you like it done to you. So play with it a bit and see what works best for you--gentle pecks, deep soul-kissing, quickie kisses, butterfly kisses, or almost kisses (the kind of kiss that's more about the anticipation of lips touching rather than the touch itself). Try something new and see what happens!

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This article was originally published at Dr. Dorree Lynn. Reprinted with permission.
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Dr Dorree Lynn

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Dr. Dorree Lynn, PhD, is a practicing psychologist and life coach with more than 40 years of experience. The founder of the website FiftyAndFurthermore.com, she's been AARP’s Media “Sexpert” and has had her own segment, “On the Couch” on AARP TV. She has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, MSNBC, CNN, Fox News, & VH1, and has been featured in national publications from Glamour to Time magazine. A sought-after speaker and media expert, she maintains a “Master Class” psychotherapy practice in Washington, DC, and speaks nationally. Dr. Dorree is also a wife, mother, and grandmother of a multinational family. She is the author of several books including her latest, Sex for Grownups: Dr. Dorree Reveals the Truths, Lies, and Must-Tries for Great Sex After 50 (HCI Books, April 2010).

Location: Jacksonville, FL
Credentials: Other, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Sexuality
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