Lasting Love Is All About Connection

By Diana Weiss-Wisdom. Posted on Jun 6th 2011.

Empty Nest Couple wondering if there is enough left in their marriage after the kids are gone.

I want to encourage you to not give up too soon. The inner workings of romantic love and friendship have always been a bit of a mystery; but as of late, we have much more understanding about what makes relationships work. The latest research offers us a clear scientific view of love and how to make it last. We are taught that healthy adults are self-sufficient. Only messed up people depend on others. The research on creating lasting love tells us that romantic love is all about attachment and emotional bonding. We all need someone who can offer reliable emotional connection and comfort. Couples often get stuck in negative cycles that they don’t understand and can’t seem to change; this can make it hard to listen to each other, support one another, or have fun together. But once you figure out what the negative patterns are, you can uncover the key negative and positive emotional moments that define your relationship.

It seems worth the effort to try and rekindle your friendship with each other. Getting to know each other again and learning what you both need from each other and from your relationship is a good place to start. This could be an ideal time in your lives together to create a new dance defined by your own rhythms apart from the children.

More from YourTango: Couples Workshop San Diego/ Couples Retreat

Recommended reading, “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for A Lifetime of Love” by Sue Johnson.

Sign up for the: Keeping Love Alive: A Couples Workshop at The Cottage Clinic in Rancho Santa Fe, California, August 18, 19, 20, 2011. CEU’s available for some health professionals. Based on the book, “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Sue Johnson and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.

Diana Weiss-Wisdom, Ph.D. is a Licensed Psychologist psy#12476 in private practice in Rancho Santa Fe, California.. She specializes in relationships, couples and marriage counseling, premarital counseling, and stepfamilies. www.cottageclinic.net (858) 259-0146

More from YourTango: Wisdom on Stepparening: How to Succeed Where Others' Fail

Want more expert advice?

Article contributed by

View profile

Advanced Member

Diana Weiss-Wisdom

Psychologist

My approach is tailored to your specific needs and situation. I use a combination of emotionally focused therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, positive psychology, and psychological assessment tools.

My focus is on how to help individuals, couples, as well as parents and their children bring out the best in themselves and each other.

Individuals, Couples, and Families are assessed and treated with kindness, respect, and warm professionalism in our office. My specialty areas include:

     Relationships
    Marriage counseling
    Stepfamilies
    Stepparenting
    Premarital counseling
    Intimacy issues
    Life Transitions
    Divorce recovery
    Cardiac psychology

Location: Rancho Santa Fe, CA

Credentials: PhD

Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Stepfamilies

Website: http://www.drdianaweiss-wisdom.com

Other Articles/News by Diana Weiss-Wisdom:

Couples Workshop San Diego/ Couples Retreat

By Diana Weiss-Wisdom

The most successful approach to creating loving relationships, endorsed by the American Psychological Association as cientifically proven, is NOW AVAILABLE to you and your partner as a Couples Weekend Workshop in San Diego, California at the Cottage Clinic. May 18-19, 2013 (858) 259-0146 www.cottageclinic.net This program is suitable ... Read more

Wisdom on Stepparening: How to Succeed Where Others' Fail

By Diana Weiss-Wisdom

Conversations for Connection: Marriage Retreat in San Diego

By Diana Weiss-Wisdom

Hold Me Tight Weekend Retreat Based on the best selling book by Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love." We all need acceptance, belonging, comfort and safety with our spouse or life-long partner. We want a positive answer to the key questions in love relationships: Are you there for me?” “Do I matter to ... Read more