My husband doesn’t understand my feelings at all. I’m beginning to wonder if he ever did. Our youngest son just graduated from high school and leaves for college in a couple of months. With the kids gone, I don’t know if we have anything in common anymore. We still love each other but we are not friends anymore. How do people know if there is enough left in a relationship to fight for it? And when to let it go? Over the years, we’ve tried couples therapy several times…trying to keep it together for the kids. I’m afraid that now that the kids are gone, our marriage is just going to fall apart.
- Lonely Wife
More from YourTango: Couples Workshop San Diego/ Couples Retreat
Dear Lonely Wife,
More from YourTango: Wisdom on Stepparening: How to Succeed Where Others' Fail
It’s not unusual for couples to have these kinds of concerns when their children grow up and leave home. For so many years, the focus and the glue has been on the kids; couples may need to revitalize their friendship as well as rediscovering themselves. It’s also natural to feel a bit of a void once the kids are gone and most of us look first to our partner to satisfy our craving for a deeper and more meaningful relationship.