Fear can sometimes paralyze you and your world. I know what that feels like, believe me. Even though professionally I am a doctor, personally I am just as human as you are. Fear sometimes does not allow you to come out of your comfort zone, and it often does not allow you to experience new places or people. Fear can control your life and your happiness. It can limit your potential and true creativity. Being afraid and not believing in you has so many effects not only on your mind, but on your health. Fear brings stress and anxiety, which limits your life expectancy. When you live with chronic stress, it can decrease your immune system, affect your heart, and raise your blood pressure rate, just to mention a few.
Which Fear Is Yours?
Here's a short list of fears. Can you identify the one(s) that are impacting your life right now?
- Fear of getting a promotion.
- Fear to get into a new relationship.
- Fear to actually allow yourself to be happy.
- Fear to experiment or try new things.
- Fear of rejection.
- Fear of success.
- Fear of what other people will think.
Sometimes we sabotage ourselves by preventing ourselves from facing our fears. Living life becomes so routine and safe that we sometimes ask, "Why change?" I should know. I did not want to change for 20 years. I felt I had lost so much of my life because I had allowed my fears to take over and control me. I certainly do not want anyone to take that long to make a change.
How long will it take you? Well, that depends on you. You must ask yourself if you are satisfied with your own life. Are you happy? If not, it's okay to acknowledge that you may feel that you have limitations. Many of us feel we do. As we age, those limitations become not only physical but mental. However, those same limitations are sometimes brought on by negative thoughts and the fear of trying new things.
I try to look at this in baby steps. For me to be able to handle my own fears, I have to realize that there is nothing I can do to change what happened to me in the past. I also acknowledge that I cannot control what is going to happen to me in the future. I truly must believe this before I can take the next step. I truly must reflect on the experiences that I have learned from in the past and use these strengths and insights to allow me to live in this present moment. I have to tap into when I was a child, when I had so many hopes and dreams, and when I appreciated all of my experiences—both good and bad.
I survived and today I use that wisdom to help me conquer my fears in a small way every day, bit by bit. It's like chipping away at a statue to reach the next level until I have reached that "core self," the one without all my defenses that I've used in the past to survive. It is about learning about how to let go and forgive, not only those who harmed me but also to forgive myself. It is about not wasting any more of my precious time and life on all of the unanswered questions for which there may not be any answers. I have already wasted enough time. It is time to go forward. It is time to live now. It is time to enjoy life. Sometimes it can be daunting to let go and go forward. It can also feel difficult to break free of those past limitations that have held you back for so long. There are so many ways to handle your fears. Here are a few suggestions to explore and experiment with:
- Acknowledge and observe yourself.
- Talk to a professional or a member of the clergy who you trust.
- Read self-help books.
There are also so many relaxation techniques you can work with from breathing and meditation to biofeedback and hypnosis plus other spiritual practices and more. Find what fits for you. Get in touch with what you really want out of life and make it a priority to give yourself a life filled with well-deserved freedom. You are so worth it. I know you are, for you are such a gift to those who love and know you. There is no one like you. You are such a gift to the Universe, just as you are right now.
May you find peace, comfort and love for yourself,
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