Don't irritate your friends or lover by making one of these 7 email mistakes.
Friends and lovers are supposed to be there for you no matter what. But in this era of electronic communications, sometimes their email responses can make you question their friendship or love. Here's the truth—many folks out there do not know proper email etiquette when in comes to email amongst friends, significant others and lovers. Instead of enhancing their relationships with their electronic communications, they produce anger and irritation with their emails. Knowing the top pet peeves people have about email from friends or lovers can help you avoid making those mistakes.
Top 7 Pet Peeves About Email From Friends and Lovers:
Pet Peeve #1: Your friend or lover is constantly engaging in one upmanship and sarcasm in their email messages. When you feel like whatever you share in an email elicits sarcasm or one upmanship, it is hard to want to continue communicating. Sharing good news is in no way designed to belittle your friend or lover just because you had an accomplishment you are proud of. However, when your friends or lover engages in sarcasm and one upmanship when you share something positive in your life, it makes them look foolish. The response you are waiting for is a simple, "Congratulations" or "Well done" or "You make us proud."
Pet Peeve #2: All you hear are complaints or constant negativity in emails from your friend or lover. Nobody likes a whiner! Nobody likes someone who constantly complains about everything. It gets old. Try to be positive in your email messages. Don't resort to an endless stream of negativism. Our real lives are full of challenges and things that make us mad. A constant barrage of negativism turns friends off. We all try our best to see goodness in the world. In spite of all the negativism that exists in the world today, being positive is a virtue. Send out a positive message, a positive web address, or an uplifting message.
Pet Peeve #3: You don't get a response to your email. When your friend or lover doesn't respond to an email, it sends a signal that you are not important. All it takes is a "Thanks" or "Very interesting" or "Thanks for sharing," etc. Just respond! It isn't that hard.
Pet Peeve #4: You send your friend or lover a website URL to view or a YouTube video to watch and they tell you they have seen it before. That reply can irritate the heck out of you. Truth is, you are not a mind reader and do not have access to their computer. You do not need their lecture about how they have seen it before. Why don't they just say, "Thanks for sharing."
Pet Peeve #5: When you check in to see how they are doing, they reprimand you about how they prefer the telephone, how they were out of town and don't normally tell people where they're going, etc. All you wanted them to say is, "Thanks for checking on me. I appreciate your concern." When they make you feel guilty by their utterances for being concerned about their welfare, they not only insult you, they make you determined to not check in with them again! And just imagine if they really did have a problem and you didn't know?
Pet Peeve #6: You share good news about some event in your life, or you share some of your photos of something positive and they make fun of your news or change the topic. You are not bragging, just wanting to share good news with your friend or lover. All you are looking for is an acknowledgement or some shoe of enthusiasm about your good news. Simply put, good news is something that is shared amongst true friends, significant others and those who follow your work. If they don't like "good news," they should ask you to delete their email address from your list. That's pretty simple don't you think? Why turn a positive into a negative?
Pet Peeve #7: Instead of talking face to face, your friend or lover brings up serious issues through email. Let's face it, really serious discussions should never occur via email. It is hard to express emotions by email. It is really hard to see the face of someone else through email. Moreover, it is hard to feel the pulse of someone you are not in the presence of. For all these reasons and more, you never want your friends or lover to talk about serious issues through email. If you are dealing with a serious issue, meet in person! At the very least, talk by phone. But we repeat, never, ever, get engaged in a monumental discussion or conversation via email. Email is not a good medium for serious discussions.
Email is a powerful medium that is subject to important limitations. But the truth is, people make the common mistakes associated with using it and actually abuse their relationships with friends, family and significant others.
What are your pet peeves about emails and other electronic communications? Please share your comments to help all of us do a better job relating.
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By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
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