Sometimes falling in love is about falling in love again with an old lover!
We had a wonderful interview this past week in Southern California with a couple who had a marriage based on a 17-year, cross-continent NON-relationship! And what a wonderful story it was. Why 17 years you ask? What is this NON-relationship all about?
Here is the bottom line. Steve went to high school with Sherrie. Their high school was in the state of Maryland. They dated steadily during their sophomore and junior years.
To be sure, it was a very loving relationship. Then something strange happened—Steve and his family moved to Southern California without warning due to a job change for his mother. Sherrie was left behind. Steve was devastated. The love of his life was gone from his life.
Now, fast forward 15 years. Steve lives in California. Sherrie lives in Maryland. They had no contact over the past 15 years.
Steve recently decided to return to his native Maryland to visit family and friends. During his visit he was walking down a street in his old neighborhood, and to his immense surprise, he ran into Sherrie, his love of long ago.
Steve felt giddy. He felt emotional. All the old feelings for Sherrie returned in an instant. In Maryland, he had loved her so deeply. Now, here she was again, in plain view after 15 years.
He tingled! He shivered! Steve felt all the love on this day that he had felt for her 15 years ago. It was love again at first sight with the women he had loved so deeply so many years ago. He was ecstatic!
Steve hugged Sherrie. Told her he loved her. He shared with her the horrible anguish he felt when his parents up and moved away 15 years ago. He told Sherrie he loved her more than life itself.
Steve and Sherrie were married after two months! Love can be very kind sometimes! The marriage of Steve and Sherrie turns out to be one for the ages!
So, what did we, as love and marriage experts, learn by interviewing Steve and Sherrie? The answer is a simple one. Sometimes falling in love is about falling in love again!
People who fall in love all over again report to us the following:
1. When they entered the same physical space again, they felt tingling all over. They "felt love" when in the presence of this person in their life again. They asked themselves this question, "Is this what real love feels like?" Love is a feeling that transcends a physical presence.
2. Falling in love again is highly "emotional." You smile when you think of the one you have just seen again. These couples report that they know someone better in three days of renewal than they have ever known someone else in a lifetime.
3. Falling in love at first again causes you to want to say, "I love you," to the person you have just met again. Having the desire to express love for another person usually takes time. Wanting to express love in the beginning of a renewed relationship is a sure sign that you are falling in love "all over again."
4. Couples that re-connect reported that their relationship seems almost too easy. There are none of the worries, uncertainties and fears associated with their previous relationships. Their "old" love trumps everything!
5. When couples report falling in love "all over again" they say that respect, trust and investment in the relationship is mutual. Both are just as committed to making the relationship work and both do the simple things that matter in keeping the relationship strong.
The truth is, it is possible to fall in love for a lifetime within just a few days – sometimes even hours—with an old lover. Couples do it all the time. There is nothing at all weird or unusual about falling in love for a lifetime after only a few days of courtship with the one you love all over again. As love and marriage experts we have seen it often. Some of the best marriages around the world are couples who reconnected after a long absence.
Often times, in renewed love, great love just happens. Sometimes, great love is easy and it is mutual. Love does not have to be complicated. Love does not have to be challenging. Sometimes, love is just right. Sometimes, loving another human being is so very natural. Loving all over again—even after 15 years of separation—is natural.
Simple things matter in love and marriage. Love well!
Creating a successful marriage is not always the easiest thing to do. Your visiting our blog suggests you are highly interested in making your relationship work! And truthfully, we have learned over 30 years of marriage research that there are proven effective ways to ensure a happy and healthy marriage. In fact, as love and marriage experts we took hundreds of tips from the thousands of happy couples we interviewed throughout the world and put them into our award-winning and bestselling book, Building a Love that Lasts.
By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
**Today, you can see how you stack up to the best marriages around the world. Take the Marriage Quiz to assess your chances of achieving a successful marriage of your own.