Is he really the one you should marry, or should you walk away? There are critical questions you must ask yourself before you decide whether to move forward with your relationship or decide to walk away and look for the real Mr. Right.
You cannot ignore your observations, because actions do speak louder than words.
Being aware of these six warning signs can save you from a heartbreaking relationship.
1. He's not what he seems to be.
You trusted him, you loved him and you thought he was at the center of the your universe. Then something happened. He started to disappoint you with his words, deeds and actions. You could no longer predict his responses, reactions or the positions he took. He was all over the board. And in the end, you discovered that he was, indeed, a fraud. He had no moral compass, no convictions, no sense of right and wrong and no emotional center. You are no longer sure of who he actually is. Always remember this — it's not what someone says that matters. It's how they act. If het says one thing and does another, beware! Don't be fooled just because you're in love with being in love!
2. You no longer tingle at the presence of him!
There was a time in your relationship when he excited you, made you feel special, made you tingle at the sight of him. But now, you find him to be just another ordinary man — a man without feeling, a man without emotion and a man who no longer excites you or makes you feel special. There is no doubt about this — feeling positive emotion in a relationship is a pre-requisite to a healthy and happy one. When you no longer have intense feelings for him, it's probably time to move on.
3. The donuts always tell the truth!
You say, what in the world are they talking about? Here it is in a nutshell. You and him go to a donut shop to buy donuts. He asks, "What kind of donut would your like?" You say, "I'd like a chocolate covered chocolate and a glazed donut." He brings you a blueberry donut and a cinnamon covered donut! He takes you to a movie and asks, "What would you like to see?" You say, "Rio 2 or Captain America." He buys tickets for Noah." You get the point. he respects you so little he believes that you don't know what you like! Go figure.
4. He tells you lies.
Your trust in him is waning. Your intuition is beginning to tell you he is not truthful with you on the things that matter to you. You catch him in lies and distortions, from time to time. He tells you he is going one place and ends up going to another. He's is starting to make you feel uncomfortable about your relationship with him. He's starting to cause you to question his honesty. He turns out to be, in the end, someone you could no longer trust. And, trust is at the heart of all loving relationships!
5. He has a "me-first" attitude.
You stop to have lunch at your local fast-food restaurant with him. Your mother and father are with you. You arrive at the restaurant. He's first in the door. He doesn't hold open the door for you and your family to enter the restaurant, and he is the first to order! He's likely to wait for you or your parents to pay for the meal. When the meal is over, he expects you to clean up the mess left at the table. He is the first out of the door. Beware of the warning signs of a narcissistic personality! This is not the man you want to marry!
6. He thinks sex defines your relationship!
Our research over the past 32 years has taught us many lessons about the importance of sex in a relationship. In the early stages of a developing relationship, sex seems very important. But here is the real deal — the successfully married couples we have interviewed in 48 countries on all seven of the world continents reveal that on a scale of 1 - 10, with 10 high, the importance of sex to the overall success of their marriage as 6.2 on a 10-point scale. As reported in How to Marry the Right Guy, this finding does not in any way minimize the importance of sex. It does, however, put it all in perspective. It's not the most important part or sole determiner of a healthy and successful relationship. Don't be fooled if he tells you that your submissiveness in sex is the most important element to the success of your relationship. Then, you know it is time to move on. Sex is fun, but it doesn't define a successful marriage or relationship.
It's better to find out before you say, "I do," that "Mr. Right" may really be Mr. Wrong. Sometimes, it takes awhile to discover the truth. However, if you review and understand these six simple warning signs, you will be in a great position to discover if he has any of these significant indicators of potential problems.
For more essential tips on determining if the new love you find is actually marriage material, read How to Marry the Right Guy.
By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts.