ProConnect

Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Share Your Values?

By

Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Share Your Values?
Armed with the right questions, you will know if you should marry him or run.
  • How important do you think it is that I am happy?
  • Is it more important that I am happy or that you are satisfied?  Can we have both?
  • If what makes me happy you don't like to do, how will you deal with that?

4. The couple in love values absolute trustworthiness and integrity in their relationship with each other. Trust is at the very heart of a successful marriage. If you cannot trust the one you love, then it is not true love!

Questions to ask him: ***You are listening to hear that he always tells the truth, that he highly values trustworthiness and that you can depend upon him. He has to claim a 9 or a 10 on honesty to feel honesty is important to his personality.

More from YourTango: A Long, Happy Marriage: The Perfect Gift For Newlyweds

  • Do you always tell the truth to your family and friends?
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how honest are you with other people?
  • Ask him about anything that he might be holding back about and see if he opens up.

5. The couple in love is committed to caring and unconditional love for each other. When you truly love someone you do so without conditions. It is not about loving you IF . . . True love is unconditional.

Questions to ask him: ***You are listening to hear unconditional love, not love that is only if.  Love has to be given freely and not based upon what ifs.

  • Will you love me if I gain 50 pounds?
  • If I become sick and cannot contribute to our family income, what will you do?
  • Can you think of a time or situation when you would not still love me?

6. The couple in love is committed to being mutually respectful towards each other. Respectfulness is at the very heart of all great loving relationships.

Questions to ask him: ***You are listening to hear that he will treat you with respect whether in public or in private. There is NO compromise here on this issue. Either he treats you with respect all of the time or you need to consider this guy as someone you cannot spend your life with. As love and marriage experts, we can tell you that respect is something you cannot fake and you cannot live without.

  • When we are in public, will you share things with others that are not flattering about me?
  • Will you always treat me with respect or only do so when we are in front of other people?
  • Will you ever chip away at my confidence level by putting me down or will you find my strengths compelling?

7. The couple in love values their mutual sense of responsibility for each other. A person in love cares for the one their love in ways that they have never cared for another human being.

More from YourTango: 'Falling For The Wrong Guy' Syndrome: Are You Guilty?

Questions to ask him: ***You are listening to hear that he expresses positive worry about you. He should be concerned and interested in your healthy living habits, safety and general wellbeing. This should include the feeling of responsibility for your success.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz

Author

Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz
America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts
**For marriage advice and hundreds of practical tips, read the Doctors' best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts. Available wherever books are sold.  Learn How to Marry the Right Guy when you read the Doctors' latest book--2014 Mom's Choice Awards Gold Medal for Best Relationship Book. Learn more about America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts.

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: EdD, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Marriage, Nutrition, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz:

Do You Know When To Walk Away From Mr. Wrong?

By

Is he really the one you should marry, or should you walk away? There are critical questions you must ask yourself before you decide whether to move forward with your relationship or decide to walk away and look for the real Mr. Right. You cannot ignore your observations, because actions do speak louder than words.  Being aware of these six ... Read more

Ready For Lasting Love? 5 Ways To Let Go Of Past Relationships

By

It can be downright challenging to get over your past relationships. Experiencing a bad relationship, breakup, or losing the one you love can be overwhelmingly painful. We know how you feel. The simple truth is this — you entered into a relationship with another person expecting it to last. But all acts of love are, we are afraid to say, not ... Read more

A Long, Happy Marriage: The Perfect Gift For Newlyweds

By

As soon as you receive the engagement announcement, question number one is invariably the same, "What is the best wedding gift?" In the past three decades, we have heard many gift suggestions from all over the world while conducting our research on the makings of great marriages. While people tend to shower newlyweds with material gifts, perhaps, ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Smooches

She's That Into You: Cracking the Code of Women

Women give off signals telling you how they feel.

Girlfriends

6 Texting Shockers You Must Avoid!

Sending your man a text message sounds easy enough, but get it wrong and it could be the end of you.

Blues

The addiction to "busy"ness: How to live with more intention

Is the daily routine of life getting you down? Find your passion and live a more authentic life!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS