Ready For Lasting Love? 5 Ways To Let Go Of Past Relationships


woman hugging dog
Don't let your relationship history prevent you from finding love in the future.

It can be downright challenging to get over your past relationships. Experiencing a bad relationship, breakup, or losing the one you love can be overwhelmingly painful. We know how you feel.

The simple truth is this — you entered into a relationship with another person expecting it to last. But all acts of love are, we are afraid to say, not everlasting. 

Before you can engage in a new loving relationship, there are some simple truths that will help you make an easier transition toward new love.

Here are the five steps to help you let go of past relationships:

1. Analyze What You Can Do Differently In Your Next Relationship
Ending a relationship almost always has both individuals blaming each other. However, if you're truthful with yourself, there are things you could've done differently that would have made the relationship better. If you spend time thinking about your actions and reactions in the context of your failed relationship, you can begin processing what you could do differently in your next relationship that will add to the chances that your next one will last for a lifetime.

2. Understand You Cannot Find Love On The Rebound
Don't be in a hurry to find your next love. Doing so will only lead to disaster and disillusionment. Be patient. If you think you have already found the next love of your life when you are still on the rebound, be especially careful and take the time to match his actions and words. To help you figure out if he is really the right one for you before it is too late take the quiz in How to Marry the Right Guy.

3. Keep Thoughts Of Your Past Relationships Off Your Mind
Now that you've analyzed what you can do differently, stop thinking about your past relationships. We know, that isn't as easy as it sounds. But, it's important to take that step and let go of your negative, longing, or wistful thoughts about your past relationships. Whenever you begin thinking about one of your past relationships, take a deep breath and begin thinking about your favorite song, place, book, or movie. Think about anything that will get our mind off your past relationship. 

4. Be Content  Enjoy What You Have!
If you have good health, a great pet, financial stability, a good job, or friends and family who love you unconditionally, you already have more than most people have in this world. Appreciate what you have rather than long for something else. The simple act of being content with your life and what you have gives you a sense of satisfaction that radiates for others to see. Take stock of the things in your life that really matter and then focus on your blessings.

5. Find Out What Makes You Happy.
No one is more enjoyable to be around than someone who is happy. What makes you happy? What makes you enjoy life? What gives you pleasure and satisfaction? When you can answer those questions and invest more time doing the things that make you happy and less time doing those things that make you unhappy, you will attract others to you.

New horizons will open up as you begin to let go of your negative past relationships and focus on your new opportunities for love. Having companionship is one of the most cherished gifts of life and love. Letting go of your past relationships will allow you to be ready to embrace a new love that can truly provide you with a lifetime of happiness with the right guy.

For the essential tips on determining if the new love you find is actually marriage material, read How to Marry the Right Guy.

By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts.

More love stories on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz


Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz
America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts
**For marriage advice and hundreds of practical tips, read the Doctors' best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts. Available wherever books are sold.  Learn How to Marry the Right Guy when you read the Doctors' latest book--2014 Mom's Choice Awards Gold Medal for Best Relationship Book. Learn more about America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts.

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: EdD, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Marriage, Nutrition, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz:

7 Signs Your Marriage Counselor Is Giving You Terrible Advice


Sometimes we wonder why so many good folks in America have fallen prey to the lies and distortions about marriage they hear from uninformed "experts" or people with political agenda?  Why are so many willing to accept the negative pronouncements about marriage — it is a failed institution (it is not); the divorce rate is over 50% ... Read more

7 Commons Myths About Marriage That Just Aren't True


It is true that knowing the difference between marriage myths and marriage facts can improve your chances of having a successful marriage. For example, it is a FACT that if you get married before the age of 24 in the USA, you have a MUCH higher chance of getting divorced than those who get married at 25 and older. The divorce rate for those getting married ... Read more

Do A Lot Of People Really Practice Polygamy?


The other day, a reporter for a very well known national periodical interviewed us about polygamy, which is when someone is married to more than one person at the same time. We have researched marriage around the world for 32 years and interviewed successfully married couples in all 50 states, 49 countries and on all seven of the world’s continents. ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.