If you do these things ... STOP. Immediately.
The key behaviors that bring about a failed marriage are easy to understand and, unfortunately, too many couples practice these toxic behaviors every day in their relationship with each other.
Here are 17 research-based and time-proven ways to sabotage your "happily ever after." Consistently doing the following will certainly result in a failed marriage. (However, do the opposite and expect your marriage to flourish.)
1. Bringing anger into the bedroom. You're going to bed mad at each other and doing so often! You all never talk it over and settle things before sleeping. You think: why resolve the problem that confronts you before you go to bed. It can wait until the morning, right? Wrong.
2. Failing to communicate clearly with each other. The two of you never talk about important marital matters. You have lots of secrets to keep from each other! Taking the time to put into words how much your spouse means to you is just a waste.
3. Avoiding being your spouse's number one cheerleader. Maybe you don't let your partner know just how important they are to the world. Why do you need to tell them? It takes two much effort to think about their strengths and talents. That's quite the mistake.
4. Withholding loving behavior. We form habits, either, for better or worse so make it a habit to NEVER show your spouse love, kindness, or caring. Your spouse will surely respond in a kind manner.
5. Never letting your spouse know you're thinking about them. Don't call them during the day, don't text them, never send a romantic email or leave a love note on their wallet or purse in the morning, or on their pillow at night. Increasing the positive communications between the two of you is not necessary for your relationship.
6. Rarely touching your spouse affectionately during the day. Touching says to most happily married couples, "I love you so much, I simply must touch you." If you want your marriage to fail, avoid touching at all cost.
7. Avoid sharing new experiences together. Why bother making it a point to do something new and stimulating to keep your love for each other vibrant and alive? Fall into the relationship doldrums.
8. Focusing on the negative or sarcastic actions directed towards each other daily. Don't get them a cup of coffee. Don't ask about how their day went at work. Your spouse does NOT need you to do something nice for them each day.
9. You believe infidelity is OK (and therefore, forgivable). Go ahead and cheat on your spouse. They'll forgive you, right? The heart of all great marriages is trust, but that doesn't matter in your case. Go ahead and engage in a behavior that has destroyed marriages for the millennia. You'll be the exception, right?
10. Put yourself first in the relationship. You're certain that you are the center of the universe. Why put your spouse first? Waste of time, huh? Why bother tending to their needs? Given that your needs are the only ones that count.
11. Failure to compromise. Let's face it — only one of you is in charge of your relationship, so it might as well be you. The theory that you are the one who rules in your relationship is without a doubt, guaranteed to destroy your marriage.
12. Ensuring your individual happiness at the expense of your spouse's. The only person that matters in your relationship is YOU! Really, isn't happiness all about you? Don't worry about your mate. Happiness comes to the selfish.
13. You tend to break trust with each other often. Lying and cheating are A-OK in your marriage. Always remember, "trust" in failed marriages is just a word, not a commitment.
14. Love with limits and conditions. Always make your love come with conditions: "I will love you IF." "I will support you IF." "I will respect you IF." That action defies everything we know about successful marital relationships, but hey, you are the exception right?
15. Disrespecting your spouse in front of others. Air the dirty laundry of your marriage in public. Call your spouse names in public, if you are of a mind to. Treat them like a dummy. After all, your mate hasn't earned your respect. Let it all hang out! What's the harm?
16. Break your word and drop the ball when your partner is counting on you. Heck, your marriage is all about you, right? You are responsible for YOU, not your spouse. Don't worry about the health and wellbeing of your spouse. It's their problem. What do you owe them? Being selfish and self-centered is a virtue in a successful marriage, right?
17. Never discussing your financial matters with each other. After all, it is "your money" and "my money" — never the twain shall meet. Spend your "marital money" freely, irrespective of your financial ability to do so. When you want to buy something, go ahead. Why should it matter whether your spouse will concur? Why should it matter to you that the major cause of marital discord centers on financial matters!
The truth is, it is so easy to fail at your marriage. If you engage in or practice any or all of the aforementioned activities, your marriage will fail and it'll be 100 percent your fault.
Dr. Charles and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz, America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts, are the authors of the award winning book How to Marry the Right Guy. For hundreds of tips to enhance your relationship get the best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts.