Years ago, like many therapists, personal difficulties forced me to the therapy realm, a place I found both personal comfort and stimulating challenge. I became an excellent "student" of all things therapy and it was natural to turn it into my area of academic study and then my profession. Like Mari, I could do all the moves.
When a couple comes in for therapy, I need to remember that they have been doing other things with their lives and passions, not mastering intimacy-building techniques. Usually, they are beginners and the best thing we can do in our sessions is slow down ... Take a tiny piece and master it. Help a husband to really listen to a simple sentence. Then reflect it back to his beloved wife in a way that makes her know she is cherished. How A Relationship Is Like An Accordion
More from YourTango: Put On Your Rose-Colored Glasses
Then do it again. And again. And again. Get good at really listening curiously and generously to a partner. I'm going to try the same thing with the new reggae dance moves at my next Zumba class. Then do it again. And again. 5 Secrets Of Happily Married Couples