Happy Anniversary Viagra. But You Still Can't Fix Everything!

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Happy  Anniversary Viagra.  But You Still Can't Fix Everything!
Will this magic blue pill help your sex life? A Boston sex therapist muses about whether it might.

     BUT…. Viagra still does not solve every couple’s sexual problems when the man has  E.D.. Remember, E.D. stirs up powerful, sometimes irrational, feelings in the partner.   One common negative scenario I see as a sex therapist is couples where the man has a long history of erectile instability for psychological reasons.  Often,  he’ll take Viagra, and it will start out working well, but over time, his anxiety will be stronger than the drug can handle, and his E.D. will return.  But he won’t go to a sex therapist.  He’ll just keep trying the Viagra in the hopes that it will help.  And over time, his wife will become so disappointed and turned off sexually that she’ll begin to avoid sex or have an affair.  

  In another common situation, the E.D. initially causes a lot of insecurity in a female partner, who began to feel that she wasn’t desired by the man.  In that situation, beginning  the Viagra and having it be effective physically, and resuming sex,  without having a chance to  unpack the partner’s prior feelings of disappointment and hurt is likely to lead to her resentment and distrust.  

  And of course, in situations where a man has had E.D.  and his partner has become used to not having sex at all,  the man simply beginning  to take Viagra, unilaterally, will not help the couple re-develop a happy sexual life.


   Sexual issues make people feel vulnerable.  Just getting more zing into an erection  doesn’t make for good sex. Even with Viagra on the scene, improving erections, some couples need sex therapy to get their sexual relationship humming again.    One 2009 study indicated that in couples taking Viagra,  concurrent sessions of sex therapy actually helped the couples respond better to the medication.


  Even when Viagra works beautifully, you  shouldn’t  count on Viagra alone to solve the couple problem of E.D. It’s always worthwhile to expand your definition of pleasurable sex, and your sexual repertoire, so that any time the Viagra doesn’t work perfectly, you can still feel good about the intimacy you’ve had   (http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-aline-zoldbrod/4-reasons-couples-mus... ).


Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D. is a Boston based sex and couples therapist  and the author of the award winning book Sex Smart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It. Find her at http://www.SexSmart.com   She works with individuals and couples with all sexual problems, including erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, lack  of desire, sexual aversion, orgasmic difficulties, and desire discrepancies.   She also sees patients for individual therapy for a wide range of problems, including depression, anxiety, and trauma.

 

 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Aline Zoldbrod

Sex Therapist

Aline P. Zoldbrod, Ph.D.

Boston based Sex Therapist

Licensed Psychologist and Author

Individual and Couples Counseling

Certified Sex Therapist and Diplomate, American Association of Sex Educators,

    Counselors and Therapists

http://www.SexSmart.com

http://www.BostonSexualAddictionTherapy.com

Location: Boston, MA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Addiction, Couples/Marital Issues, Sexuality
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