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Happy Anniversary Viagra. But You Still Can't Fix Everything!

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Happy  Anniversary Viagra.  But You Still Can't Fix Everything!
Will this magic blue pill help your sex life? A Boston sex therapist muses about whether it might.

by Aline P. Zoldbrod Ph.D.   (EXPERT)

 

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March 2013 is the fifteeth anniversary of Viagra becoming available  (on the 27th of March, to be exact).  In a lot of ways, Viagra’s invention merits a celebration. Erectile dysfunction is  quite common--more common as men age,  but  not rare in younger men.  Men with  E.D. are miserable. If they are married, they are insecure and defensive, avoid sex, get depressed; sometimes their feelings come out as anger toward their partner. If they are single, they are terrified of dating. If they are divorced and newly dating, they can develop erectile instability even though  they previously had no sexual problems. Viagra really helps!

  Both older and newer research has found that in men with E.D., Viagra use helps erections, and it also helps self esteem,  depression levels, and general lovingness towards the partner. A recent study has again found that the sexual satisfaction of both the male and the female partner of a male with erectile dysfunction improved significantly when the man took Viagra.


I remember when Viagra first came out in 1998, and a lot of we sex therapists were worried –worried that a lot of deep seated sexual problems would be swept under the rug, that this “quick fix” would turn out to be a ruse or would turn out badly. I used to worry that Viagra would encourage  men who had had to develop a more tender, female-centric mode of loving  to get deeper into a phallocentric model of sex as penetration, with relaxed sensual touching kicked onto the floor with the rest of the extra blankets.   

I still worry now about  Viagra.  About its being treated as a party drug by younger men, about Pfizer  promoting it as a life-enhancement drug for men who have no physical or psychological E.D. whatsoever, and about how it creates the experience of an extra-hard penis that is hard to obtain in normal life by any man older than 25.  (Creating a market for it among the entire universe of men aged 26 to death….)

More from YourTango: Plagued By Disappointing Sex? You Can Enjoy Sex Again!

But I have to admit, a lot of sex therapists’ fears about Viagra turned out to be unnecessary.  For the lucky couples for whom Viagra works well and consistently—the ones with partners who are very interested in sex, if anything, Viagra has improved the quality of the lovemaking.  Penises’ hardness waxes and wanes, naturally.  When a man is fearful of losing his erection, this can bring on intense performance anxiety, leading him to rush to intercourse, curtailing he and his partner’s pleasure in the touches, sights, and sounds of lovemaking.  Viagra often takes away the insecurity, so the entire sexual experience is richer and more varied.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Aline Zoldbrod

Sex Therapist

Aline P. Zoldbrod, Ph.D.

Boston based Sex Therapist

Licensed Psychologist and Author

Individual and Couples Counseling

Certified Sex Therapist and Diplomate, American Association of Sex Educators,

    Counselors and Therapists

http://www.SexSmart.com

http://www.BostonSexualAddictionTherapy.com

Location: Boston, MA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Addiction, Couples/Marital Issues, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Dr. Aline Zoldbrod:

Sex And Sensibility On Valentine's Day: How To Surpass Ideals

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Are you part of a couple, or a 'developing' couple? Well, with Valentine's Day coming, how do you feel about it? Are you excited? Stressed out? Worried about disappointment or jealousy? Do you get caught up in comparing what your honey got you for Valentine's Day with what your friends' sweeties got them? Or are you hoping for some really ... Read more

Plagued By Disappointing Sex? You Can Enjoy Sex Again!

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Doing sex therapy in my office near Boston, I often find myself wishing I had a quarter for every time a woman who complains of lack of arousal or low sexual desire, or just plain "not liking sex" tells me about a recent time when she was lying with her partner, knowing that what they were doing to her right then was irritating the heck out of her, ... Read more

When Partner's Sex Drive Varies, Masturbation Saves the Day

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One problem that sex and couples therapists see all the time is partners who have a difference in sexual desire. It's a common problem, because mens' sexual drive is driven by testosterone and tends to be relatively stable, no matter what stage of relationship they are in, and no matter what other things are going on in their lives. So while ... Read more

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