5. Be positive. Don't say every negative thing you think. Imagine criticism is like toothpaste inside the tube. It's easy to squeeze the negative comments out, but once the words are out, it's impossible to put them back "in." In my office, it's not unusual to have one partner bring up a hurtful comment that the other partner made decades earlier. Harsh criticism erodes trust. 2 Tips For Fighting Fair In Intimate Relationships
When you have to share negative feedback, do it as a kind of "criticism sandwich." Begin the conversation with a compliment, put the criticism in as the middle layer, and then
finish up with a piece of reassurance or a positive feeling.
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6. Stop comparing! Don't compare yourselves to other couples. Most couples who are out in public will try to portray at least an image of harmony. Many depict their union as the paragon of true devotion and love.
It's not that happy couples don't exist. They do. But they quarrel too, just like you do. When you view a couple who is lovey-dovey or seems to have it all together, you can't tell from the outside if what you are seeing is the real deal or not.
It's easy to project your fantasy that their couple life together is easy and glamorous, while it is so hard to make yours work. Trust me, no couple has an easy time staying together and combining, work, love, finances, kids, emotional intimacy, and sex. (One of the advantages of being a couples therapist is that you get to hear the truth, once the office door is closed.) Be grateful for what's good in your relationship. Because if you know it's good in private, it's real. 5 Wedding Planning Pointers For A Successful Marriage
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