Lesson I learned from last week: Trying to get sex back on track only highlights the couple sex&relationship 'challenges' that weren't dealt with before the baby was born.Read
all the Six
Month Sex Challenge posts here.
Breastfeeding Making Intercourse Uncomfortable
After my last blog post about not knowing whether to carry on with this challenge, I had to sit down and do a lot of hard thinking. Actually, it was three days of bouncing between bouts of crying and angrily asking myself, “Why does this have to be so difficult? I just want to have sex.”
Had some heart-to-heart chats with my husband. Cleared the air and decided together how we wanted to go forward. But then later in the week it came time to initiate sex and I didn’t know if I was going to face rejection, unresolved couple issues or what. So, as per usual, I held off until the very last minute.
Advice from Sue Naylen-Sorrell
To help this challenge along, I will be asking other people in the sexuality field for their best advice for new moms. Sue Naylen-Sorrell owns from my favorite Calgary based mom-friendly sex store, A Little More Interesting gave her top three mommy sex products.
Here’s her list:
1) We-Vibe II
2) Jimmy Jane Massage Candles
3) Pink Water
(She also likes Tracy Cox’ Sex Decks, and anything Lelo.)
Because I’m breastfeeding fulltime, lubricant is an absolute essential —I decided to go with Sue’s recommended “Pink Water” lubricant first.
A walk down memory lane
I’ll never forget my first son’s six week postpartum checkup. As my OBGYN inserted fingers lathered with KY jelly she said, “The might feel uncomfortable. Sometimes women’s vaginas go into a menopausal-like state if they are breastfeeding fulltime. This may make intercourse uncomfortable.”
Before having my son, I dolled this information out to hundreds of new moms. You see estrogen which makes for a nice juicy vagina, is being suppressed by the hormones prolactin and oxytocin.
Ironically, I didn’t expect intercourse to be so darn uncomfortable. And for the first six months intercourse was, at times, unpleasant until I stopped breastfeeding fulltime. So as excited as I was to initiate intercourse this time around, I was just as anxious about if I would have to endure another six months of it being uncomfortable.
On to the main event