You’re in a relationship that is heading toward something serious. So, how do you know if your guy is a keeper? What signals or cues should you be looking for? Here are 3 simple questions to ask yourself before you tie the knot.
1. How do the two of you fight? The first important question you need to ask yourself is how do the two of you fight? Stop for a moment and think about the last fight or the most recent argument you had with your romantic partner. Did you raise your voice? Cry? Say things you regretted afterward? Conflict is a healthy part of relationships, but how you resolve it can be either bonding or destructive. If you handle conflict consistently in a destructive manner—like screaming, interrupting, yelling or calling your partner names, studies show that you are more than twice as likely to divorce over time. A good relationship is where the two of you fight fair. It is important that you pick your battles, know when to engage in an argument and when to let it go without resentment, don’t name call, and calm down when you talk.
2. Do you trust this person? Trust is an essential aspect of marriage. Before you make a commitment, be sure to ask yourself whether you trust this person. When we trust someone, we believe that person tells us the truth and that they wouldn’t hurt or deceive us. Since it's important that you and your partner each feel a sense of trust, be sure to have a “trust chat” before tying the knot. This conversation will give both of you a strong sense of shared values (or not). Here are a few discussion questions to talk about during your trust chat:
a. What does commitment mean to you?
b. What does dependability mean to you?
c. Do you feel that your checking account, credit card bills, and appointment book should be private, or shared?
3. Are you and your partner similar in underlying values and attitudes? The last question you want to ask yourself before you tie the knot is whether the two of you are similar. Studies show that partners who have compatible beliefs, values, and lifestyles stay together longer than partners who don't. Does this mean that you have to like the same music and food? Absolutely not, although those differences might be important factors if you are set to marry a musician or a chef! What you do need to have in common are your key life values. If you and your
mate-to-be aren't compatible on life values, think long and hard before taking the walk down the aisle.