7. Get in the mood. Ease into the mood by unwinding in whatever way suits you best. Perhaps you’d like to listen to some sultry music or take with a long bath, maybe you’ll light some candles or burn some essential oils. One of my personal faves: start with some sensual massage!
8. Don’t be afraid to “get yourself ready” for sex through fantasy. Desire might not always occur spontaneously, especially if you are tired or stressed. Give yourself permission to use your sexual imagination. Perhaps you want to recall one of your favorite sexual experiences…or one you have yet to live out yet! Never underestimate the power of your imagination.
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9. Expand your ideas about “having sex.” Let’s just agree to let go of the idea that sex = penetration, okay?!? You don’t need to have intercourse to have sexual pleasure. There are plenty of other ways to have fun - oral sex, manual sex, mutual masturbation, stimulation with toys etc. Expand your mind and enjoy! Oh…and remember: sex doesn’t necessarily have to end with an orgasm. You can experience lots of physical pleasure and emotional connection without it. Try letting go of your expectations and just relish in the experience of intimacy.
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10. Consider seeking professional help. You don’t have to go this alone. There are multiple benefits of seeking out professional help from a trained and compassionate intimacy coach, therapist, or sexologist.