- Make a ‘profit’ and ‘loss’ type balance sheet for yourself. Note down what you think are selfish thoughts or acts in the loss column, and what you think are unselfish thoughts or acts in the profit column. Glance over it every night and ask yourself if your gut reaction was accurate. Alter your entries as appropriate.
Benefit: you will reduce guilt and fear, freeing up space for you to think and predict in a more reality based mode. Reducing imagined fearful consequences makes for less stress and more confidence.
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- Check in with those around you often so you get a accurate picture of how they are perceiving and receiving you. Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback.
Benefit: Having made a decision to divorce it’s vital to get regular and honest feedback from those you care about. It reduces anxiety about where you figure in their lives. It is grounding and stops you from imagining the worst and spiraling into a self-destructive cycle of beating yourself up, or worse, isolating yourself.
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Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.