The brain is amazing in what it does. But one thing it’s not so great at is tolerating ambiguity. The mind hates gaps in stories or unanswered questions, so it fills in the blanks when they exist. When you don’t ask questions, you’re left essentially making up stories and that’s never good. The truth is almost always easier to take than the stories you’re making up.
Make it easy on yourself and ask them what they’re thinking.
3. Take it Easy: If it’s this difficult, this just isn’t the person for you
Living (and dating) in Relationship Hell can really suck. When you want a committed relationship, the time and effort involved in first dates and getting to know someone new can feel torturous. But that’s no reason to just “love the one your with”, especially if all the signs are telling you to run. If it’s really difficult most of the time, this isn’t the one for you.
Relationships are not supposed to be hard. Yeah, I know we can all cite a million clichés that tell us otherwise (e.g., “relationships are hard work”). There are rough spots—but cheating, lying, verbal abuse or worse are not rough spots, they’re signs to get out.
If you’re 22 and your boyfriend has cheated on you for most of your relationship, he’s not the one for you. If you’re convinced that you need couples counseling after a month together, this probably isn’t the one. It doesn’t matter that you’ve met the parents or that your cat is already attached to him. Try to relax and trust that this is just practice for the really good relationship that’s on its way.
Amy Johnson, Ph.D. is a psychologist and master certified coach. She writes a popular blog full of down-to-earth, achievable steps to living a happier, more enlightened life at www.DrAmyJohnson.com. Grab her FREE ebook on getting out of your own way to create the life you want.