Many of the couples that find their way into my office have become stuck in old, rigid patterns of interaction. And, it gets old, it gets tiring, it gets tedious and it gets BORING! There is NO PASSION in tedious and boring.
When we first meet our partners, we are open and laugh and share in very child-like and loving ways. This is a good thing. So, let’s get back to doing what works! Let’s have fun like children do!
Relationship Tool #2: High Energy Fun
The second tool then, is the tool of High Energy Fun. The point of high-energy fun is to recapture that spirit of fun, of silliness, of spontaneity that children have. It’s silly, it’s frivolous, it has no extrinsic value. And yet internally, intrinsically, it is what keeps us alive and vital and connected. There’s nothing like a belly laugh to open you up, and put you in a good place. From there, with an open heart, anything is possible in a relationship.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to spend five to ten minutes, twice a week with your partner doing some type of High Energy Fun activity which will cause you not only to smile or giggle, but to burst out into deep belly-laughs! It may take you some practice and you’re going to have to move through your resistance, yet I encourage you to give it a try.
For specific examples that you can use to share High Energy Fun:
Okay, now let’s get to the third to reignite your relationship. This is a tool, which is a more direct practice of romance and passion, designed to fill you to overflowing with sexual heat.
And it will be a stretch for many of you, yet I encourage you to try it out, stick with it for a while and see how your relationship can benefit from it.
Sexual intimacy, like emotional intimacy is about discovering new parts of yourself and sharing them with your partner. So this tool is about stretching and trying on new attitudes, experimenting with new ways of being together sexually.
Relationship Tool #3: All-Day Foreplay
What do I mean by “All-Day Foreplay”? In America, the statistics seem to be that the average couple has less than 19 minutes of foreplay prior to lovemaking. And generally, it has become pretty routine. And that is the average, so half of couples have less than that!
You all know what I’m saying. I bet you can predict it like clockwork. Maybe it starts with “your move” whatever that might be. Maybe a yawn or a stretch, or “look how late it is” or something pretty mundane to get into the bedroom if you’re not already there. Or reaching for your birth control method of choice. How romantic!