Why Men Are Settling For Mrs. Good Enough

to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchKimberly SeltzerDr. Erica  GoodstoneJennifer Chappell Marsh MFT Intern #65184
ProConnect

20 Reasons To Have Sex Right Now

By . Posted on .

couple on kitchen floor

My work as a couples counselor is to help you create passion in your relationship. Sexual passion is certainly one strong contributor to overall passion.

According to Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny, “Studies show that, when things are going well, sex contributes only 15 percent to the overall satisfaction of a relationship. But if things aren’t going well, it contributes 85 percent to the dissatisfaction.”

In keeping with this theme of passion, I present to you the following, excerpted with permission from the book How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Drs. Love and Stosny.

Twenty Reasons to Have Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It

1. Because you said so
Even though you may not have promised to “love, honor, and have sex once a week” when you made a commitment to your relationship, it was understood that sex would be part of that bargain. Imagine how the marriage rates would go down if people said, “I’ll marry you, but don’t expect sex.” If you polled one thousand people on the street and asked them, “Is it reasonable to expect to have to have sex when you are married?” the overwhelming majority would say yes. If you expect a monogamous commitment from your partner, then it stands to reason that you will be a cooperative sex partner.

2. Sex helps you forget
Oxytocin, which triggers orgasm, has an amnesic effect that lasts up to five hours. So for a period of time you forget that he maxed out your Visa card or she was an hour late getting home from work. Women get an additional benefit. During orgasm that parts of the brain that govern fear, anxiety, and stress are switched off. (Faking orgasm gives no such benefit.) Sex Makes Our Brains Bigger. Seriously.

3. Sex rewires you for pleasure
Every time you share a positive experience with your partner, your brain comes to associate him or her with pleasure. You can transform any relationship simply by increasing the number of enjoyable times you share together.

4. Sex puts the “P” back in partnership
Passion is what separates your relationship with your intimate partner from those with girlfriends and buddies. Yes, you two are best friends and confidants, but without sex you will not have passion.

The following are from a 1997 study in the British Medical Journal- 

5. Heightened sense of smell
After sex, production of prolactin surges, causing stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain’s smell center (olfactory bulb).

6. Weight loss
Rambunctious sex burns a minimum of two hundred calories, about the same as running fifteen minutes on a treadmill. British researchers determined that the equivalent of six Big Macs can be worked off by having sex three times a week for a year.

7. Reduced depression
Prostaglandin, a hormone found in semen, modulates female hormones. Orgasm releases endorphins, producing a sense of well-being and euphoria.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Adam Sheck

Psychologist

Helping couples bring back the Passion!

Free Special Report: 20 Rituals For Romance! Download it at: www.freepassiontips.com

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Certified Imago Relationship Therapist

drsheck@passion101.com

310-968-1526

website: http://passion101.com

blog: http://passion101.com/blog

facebook: http://thepassiondoctor.com

twitter: http://twitter.com/passion101

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: PsyD
Website: Passion 101
Other Articles/News by Dr. Adam Sheck :

Are Dominant, Attractive Men Better In Bed?

By

This has been a fascinating question that has been open for debate for a long, long time. It's probably only second to the "does size really matter" question. From a biological perspective, it certainly would seem that the more "dominant" males will be better breeding stock and so will be more desirable to females. On the other hand, our ... Read more

Do Women Want To Be Ravished?

By

Do Women Want To Be Ravished? As a psychologist and couples counselor, I’ve been asked this question by men, women and couples for the last twenty years. My specialty is helping couples bring back the passion in their relationship and using fantasy is one way of doing this. And the fantasy of being ravished, being lovingly, yet forcefully taken by ... Read more

Do You Know How To Support Your Partner?

By

Do You Know How To Support Your Partner? I’ve been working with couples for over twenty years and while the majority of couples WANT to support their partner and their relationship, most of them don’t really know what that MEANS or how to do it! One key distinction to keep in mind in supporting your partner is that different tactics are ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Press Conference

DeMistyfy Your Dating: Radio Interview: [EXPERT]

And yes, we spelled it that way for a reason! Listen to this humorous interview of Spike and learn!

Running Woman

Post-Divorce Growth…After They Go, Grow [EXPERT]

Identify your positive changes post-divorce. Make it a growth experience!

No Love

Married and Fighting? It May Signify a Solid Relationship

Married couples can be too harmonious. Find out how much discord creates dynamic relationships.

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
FROM OUR PARTNERS