Why Men Are Settling For Mrs. Good Enough

to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchKimberly SeltzerDr. Erica  GoodstoneJennifer Chappell Marsh MFT Intern #65184
ProConnect

What do sex and murder have to do with the meaning of life?

By . Posted on .

What do sex and murder have to do with the meaning of life?
What good could come from studying topics like incest, homicidal fantasies, and one night stands?

If the nuns who taught me at St. Joseph’s elementary school were still alive, they’d likely say a prayer for me, and wonder where they went wrong. Not only am I still cracking jokes in the classroom, but I’ve spent my adult life mucking around with some pretty sinful topics: I’ve studied one-night stands, incest, homicidal fantasies, and man’s hatred for his fellow man. Goodness, I’ve even published a couple of papers suggesting that going to church may be just another mating strategy (Li, Cohen, Weeden, & Kenrick, 2010).

A number of years back, when I told my friend David Funder that I was doing some research on everyday people’s thoughts about murder, he raised his eyebrow, and observed: “Kenrick, it seems like the M.O. for an evolutionary psychologist is this: Pick a topic that is normally not even whispered about in polite company, and shine a big spotlight on it.”

Funder’s assessment was not completely unfair. But my colleagues and I don’t pick these unsavory topics just because it’s what sells in the tabloids. Instead, we study these things because these are the issues with which humans the world over concern themselves –who’s sleeping with whom, who might stab me in the back, who might hurt my kids, and on and on. Why do so many people read the tabloids and gossip magazines like People and Us, anyway? Because they have better book reviews than the New York Times, or because they have rumors about which powerful man is cheating on his wife and sleeping with which Hollywood ingénue? And why have people the world over shelled out billions of hard-earned dollars a year and stood in long lines to see movies like Gone with the Wind, Titanic, Braveheart, and Avatar? It’s not to appreciate the finer points of cinematography, it’s because the movies present vivid conflicts between the bad guys (them) and the good guys (us), brave and heroic men involved in love affairs with beautiful young women, and other topics humans have always gossiped about.

There’s more to evolutionary psychology than just sensationally engaging topics, however. We evolutionary psychologists are also searching for an integrated conceptual paradigm to unite the social sciences with our neighboring biological sciences. Sometimes it can sound a bit grandiose —like the claim that the evolutionary perspective can integrate psychology, economics, political science, biology, and anthropology, and our further insistence that the perspective has profound implications for applied disciplines like law, medicine, business, and education. But it’s not just academic -- these issues have important implications for everyone—from your relatives in rural Wisconsin to the members of the U.N. Security Council. If there is any hope of changing the world for the better, from reducing family violence to reversing overpopulation and international conflict, economists, educators, and political leaders will need interventions based on a sound understanding of what people are really like, not some fairy-tale version of what we’d like them to be.

Recent Expert Posts
Press Conference

DeMistyfy Your Dating: Radio Interview: [EXPERT]

And yes, we spelled it that way for a reason! Listen to this humorous interview of Spike and learn!

Running Woman

Post-Divorce Growth…After They Go, Grow [EXPERT]

Identify your positive changes post-divorce. Make it a growth experience!

No Love

Married and Fighting? It May Signify a Solid Relationship

Married couples can be too harmonious. Find out how much discord creates dynamic relationships.

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
FROM OUR PARTNERS