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Relationship Trouble? Discover the Perfection of Imperfection

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Relationship Trouble? Discover the Perfection of Imperfection
Painful personal or professional relationship? We carry our unresolved issues with us wherever we go

Because we don’t want to depart from this planet without having evolved more fully, we’re so brave that we crave both cozy . . . and uncomfortable . . . connections with other parts of ourselves. Other people are human mirrors. They show us what we cannot or are unwilling to perceive about ourselves. I’m not just talking about our imperfections. Other people also show us when we’re unwilling to receive compliments, love and support.

We long to share both our joys and our flaws with other people because when we are real, raw, honest and vulnerable, our lives are so rich that bliss totally overwhelms pain. We devour the true nectar of life . . . a sweet, very addictive concoction composed of two simple ingredients that cannot be artificially manufactured: meaning and purpose.
In spite of growth pains that sometimes feel agonizing, life seems easier because we just want to be more of who we really are . . . passionately alive, sentient humans open to all of life’s experiences. We are so intimately connected to ourselves and other people that we are incapable of being cruel.

More from YourTango: How To Handle Conflict In Your Relationship

WHAT WILL YOU CHOOSE?

When we feel hurt or angry, it’s easy to forget that we’re standing at a critical crossroad that provides two clear-clear choices. Option One is to blame someone else for our discomfort. When we travel this road, we’re guaranteed to endure similar challenges.

We haven’t resolved the core issue that continues to fester under the surface, like an untreated infection. That’s why so many people moan, “I’ve had this awful experience before. The last person had a different name and wore different clothes, but this nasty experience reminds me of ground hog day. How do I get off this hamster wheel that creaks more loudly and painfully each time I repeat my journey?”

Option Two softly calls to us, “Do you really want to be free of your pain? Explore your unresolved issue so you can drink the infinite wisdom and self-love that are patiently waiting to delight you.”

When we embrace our humanity . . . our self-judgments, fears and insecurities . . . without shame or blame, we receive an astonishing gift. We discover that it’s safe and immensely rewarding to be our Authentic Self in relationship with another human who is also perfectly imperfect. A qualified relationship coach can help you discover how to enjoy every step of this special journey.

© 2013. Excerpted with permission from the Bestselling Book, “Conquer Your Inner Critic” by Doris Helge, Ph.D., named “One of the Top Ten Coaches in America.” With over 20 years of experience, Dr. Doris has a proven track record of helping you Create Your New Life Story. Download your free ebooks and see client testimonials at www.ConquerYourInnerCritic.com.

More from YourTango: Difficult people? Difficult conversations?

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Doris Helge, Ph.D., MCC

Author

Master Relationship Coach, Doris Helge, Ph.D., was named "One of the Top Ten Coaches in America." Take advantage of her decades of experience with thousands of clients like you. See examples of testimonials posted by satisfied singles and couples at http://CoachingByDoris.com/relationshipresources/  

Location: All locations -- virtual coaching, WA
Credentials: CPC, MCC, MSW, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce/Divorce Prevention
Other Articles/News by Doris Helge, Ph.D., MCC:

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