“But that could happen, right?” I say.
“Yes,” she agrees.
“Or more likely, what if you run into somebody else who has some of those same qualities that attracted you to Roger, and some of the same liabilities too. And because you are not able to draw out any of the lessons from your previous relationship, you don’t recognize it; you are vulnerable; you are likely to make the same kind of mistakes you made before, without knowing it.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s possible,” she says.
“So you should want to remember the lessons, what to avoid in the future. And to sharpen your ‘radar’ so that when you meet jerks like Roger an alarm will go off. Yes?”
“I suppose so – that would be good.”
“And I can help you do that.”
When you are getting over a bad relationship, you might feel like you want to forget all about the relationship and the person who caused you all that pain. But there may important lessons that you need to keep, to wise up for the future and not let something similar happen again.
It is not necessary, however, to continue feeling the hurt from that old relationship. A good therapist, hypnotherapist, or NLP Practitioner can help you in getting rid of the emotional distress that was part of those memories, so that it becomes “just something that happened.”