Inquiring By asking for clarification of ideas, needs and feelings, you signal respect for
the other person and can then work toward mutual understanding and compromise.
“I Feel” Statements This is a primary skill in interpersonal communications. Expressing
yourself with such statements as, “I feel angry because you seem to be defying me at
every turn” is much more productive than the accusatory, “you make me angry and
it’s your fault that I’m always upset around this house.” In the first scenario, you take
responsibility for your own feelings and share them; in the second, you escalate the
confrontation by blaming and putting the person on the defensive.
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Moreover, using “I feel” statements enables you to then tell the other person specifically
what you need that will make you feel good or what can be done to improve the
relationship and avoid further misunderstandings and confrontations. Example: “I feel
angry because you seen to defy me at every turn. I want to know that even if you don’t
like or agree with a rule, you will discuss it with me, instead of developing an attitude.”
Interpersonal conflict within families is normal. Accepting the fact that family members look at the same events from the perspectives of their different personalities will enable
you to employ these three powerful prescriptions to manage conflicts in your family.
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About the Author:
Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and licensed psychologist. Besides
conducting therapy for individuals and families for the past 34 years, he has been
speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s, sales forces
and elite athletes. Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, GLENN BECK, FOX
SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada. He is the author
of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio
programs-- some specifically for athletes and others for anyone wanting to raise their
self-confidence, self-esteem and optimism. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking
and consulting services, please visit www.drjacksinger.com , www.funspeaker.com ,
www.askdrjack.com , email him at: firstname.lastname@example.org, or call him directly at: