Divorce is a dark period in our life. But we need to experience darkness to know the light.
I remember the mental numbness the first time I heard the words. A wave of uncomfortable warmth swept through my body. Who I was, the world I knew, the future I saw was shattered like a picture window hit by a large rock. The words were: “I want a divorce”.
That was 2006. Since that time, I’ve pursued a path of spirituality. Not because of the divorce, rather because of one of my person values – evolution. As I look back and reflect upon my divorce, I now know that my divorce was a blessing. It was an acceleration of realizing those things material in my life (not money, but my ego, my body, my thoughts – those things I experience because I am human).
Eastern spiritual philosophy suggests that destruction is a blessing, because out of destruction comes the divine – creation. Additionally, another widely accepted spiritual thought is that we must know (experience) darkness in order for us to see the light (the divine). Divorce is a personal darkness in three main aspects: Emotion Pain, Ego Challenge and Material Change. But it is also a wonderful opportunity to grow spiritually through: increasing awareness, awakening our soul, and living our soul’s purpose. Let’s walk through divorce on a parallel path of humanity and spirituality.
Emotional Pain or Awareness
The humanity of emotional pain is suffering. Divorce brings about the feelings of failure, fear of loss, low self-esteem and depression. Our ego is damaged and fights for control and survival. Without rising above our emotion and trying to consoling our ego our path continues to support of existing self-limiting life stories like not being good enough, feeling unloved, unwanted … paths of self-destruction/self limitation through emotional pain.
The divinity of emotional pain to become conscious of our thoughts and emotions, and the stories we’ve created that form our reality. This is a critical step in increasing our awareness, leading to a higher level of consciousness. If we choose to evolve our consciousness, accept our darkness and walk the path towards enlightenment – we walk a path towards divinity through increased awareness.
Ego Challenge or Awakening
The humanity of a challenge to our ego is our identity; what we once thought we were is no longer true. The identity of husband/wife and father/mother is no longer true. We built our future around the word “until death do us part”. But with those four words, I want a divorce, our identity is shattered. We struggle to make sense of our life. We try to fit what is happening into the stories of our past – paths of fear and uncertainty based on our ego.
The divinity of a challenge to our identity is an awakening, a higher level of awareness that our ego is only one part of us and an opportunity to recognize and nurture the purpose of our soul. This path is a process of calming our ego, accepting the situation, and consciously choosing to connect with our soul. By choosing to evolve our consciousness, choosing to connect with our soul – we walk the path towards divinity by awakening our soul.
Material Change or Living Soulfully
The humanity of a life turned upside down is a loss of control and an abundance of ambiguity: Where am I going to live? Can I cope financially? What is my role as a mother or father? Who are my friends? We are overwhelmed with stress, uncertainty, sadness, anger… We work to reclaim and redefine our sense of self with items, money and dominance – paths of materialism to define us.
The divinity of life change is a realization of all those things in which we attach our self as a way of self-definition. This path is one of increasing awareness that leads to further connecting with our soul which is not attached to materialism. We begin to realize that true happiness is a selfless service to others and we define who we are by our soul’s purpose. By choosing to evolve our consciousness, choosing to serve others and fulfill the purpose of our soul – we walk the path towards divinity by living our soul’s purpose.
Choose Your Path
“I Want a divorce” is a choice of two paths – humanity and divinity. Which will you choose to walk? One of self-destructive or self-limiting stories, fear and uncertainty, and material self-definition – a path down continued humanity? Or a path of increasing awareness, awakening your soul, and living our soul’s purpose – a path of divinity and conscious evolution? The choice is yours.