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5 Ways To Heal Your Heart (So You Can FINALLY Get Over Him)

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heal broken heart
Heartbreak

After a bad breakup, there are things you can do to heal your heart so that you can love again.

Romance and love can lead to elated feelings of joy and bliss and when it ends — it can leave you devastated. 

The magic of love can permeate every cell of your body, your heart, your soul, and your brain. Thoughts of your lover can consume every waking moment and even take over your dreams.

When there is an intense attraction that leads you to someone— It is an uncontrollable force that you cannot stop nor would you want to. The power of love is the most compelling influence in the universe and can lead us to utter bliss.

When love ends, it makes you feel like you have nothing to live for.

But you do have something to live for. You have you to live for and you have love to live for.

There are all kinds of ways that you feel heartbreak.

One of these is unrequited love. This is when only one person feels these intense romantic feelings. One-sided love is one of the most self-esteem crushing ways to heartbreak because the love you feel never had a chance.

Rejection hurts and you probably feel it physically. Even though your heart isn’t going to physically break, it sure feels like it is. Research led by Ethan Kross at the University of Michigan has shown emotional pain can activate the same part of our brain as physical pain.

The heartbreaking pain you feel is real.

Another is when you lose the "love of your life."

This is the person who you thought you would be with forever. You probably even had those soul mate feelings and have even talked about being together forever with your partner. When you have a love that feels real and true and then lose them, you feel like you will never get over it.

Some days will be harder than others and plenty of them will be hard.

There are other kinds of heartbreak but I want to get to the point where you can learn some actionable skill right now to help you get through it the easier way possible.

There are 5 things you need to remember, starting today, that will get you on the path to heal your broken heart:

1. Realize you are not alone.

Can you think of one person in your life that has never had their heart broken? OK, maybe you have a couple of friends who are high school sweethearts that are still goo-goo over each other. The agonizing pain you feel in your chest is worse than the bike crash you had when you were 10.

That pain was over in a couple of weeks, but this torment is much different. It’s a different kind of pain that everyone can relate to. It’s not just you and nothing is wrong with you.

Just because you feel the pain of losing someone, doesn’t mean you aren’t lovable. You may always have a soft spot in your heart for the man you loved and don’t beat yourself up about it. Love is infinite and there is plenty in the universe.

Understand you just weren’t in the right place and time to be together and there is great love waiting for you. You have to get yourself ready for it.

2. Don’t run from the pain.

I know that you might want to hide under the covers after this and stuff down any of the pain and pretend it isn’t there. Sure, the junk drawer in the kitchen might need some cleaning out, but it can wait. You are trying to distract yourself and not letting the feelings process.

You must grieve and get through the pain to move on. It will be excruciating to go through it, but it needs to happen so these feelings don’t get stuck.

Cry, sleep, vent with your friends, and get a coach or a counselor so you can let it all out. You may have been taught that big girls don’t cry, but if they don’t, they should.

Crying is good for you. It helps to move through grief instead of sticking us in depression. It can cleanse your soul and you can be happy again.

3. Allow space for yourself.

Welcome this time to get to know yourself. You don’t need to rush into finding another boyfriend right away. You will be OK by yourself.

This can be your #magicmantra: #IAMOK

It’s that simple. You probably don't feel like skipping quite yet, but you will get there. You are OK. Where you are is OK. And being single is OK. You don’t have to have a partner to be OK.

4. Accept the past and your memories.

Don’t wage a war against your past and the memories of love that will come and go. You will more than likely yearn for the love that you lost or never had and it is totally natural.

Our brains are good at connecting the dots and it’s part of the process. If you try to push any thoughts away, it can make it worse.

What you think about, you bring about — even if isn’t what you want. So when the memories and fantasies of getting back together come into your mind, just notice them and say to yourself: "There I go again! This is what everyone else does too. There is nothing wrong with me."

This is part of getting to the feeling good part!

5. Take out your notebook.

After a bad breakup, it’s easy to beat yourself up, recall every conversation that could have gone differently, and analyze every text message that you wish you wouldn’t have sent.

So take out your pen and start writing about it.

And do not read it for at least 2 years. Writing about the past it isn’t so you can hold onto it. Writing is a form of letting go.

Don’t worry about grammar, making complete sentences, or making sure your penmanship is legible. Getting about the gunk will help you release it.

Broken hearts inspire artists to create the most incredible songs, poems, movies, and stories.

Write about your love story. You will discover that you are deeper than you ever realized and this heartache will give you more meaning in your life. 

I write because I can't help it. My past heartbreaks are the reason that I do what I do. My writing has helped me process the pain and discover the joys in life and they can help you find yours.

Allow yourself to feel the pain so you can begin healing your heart. It will be worth it.

Connect with Dina Colada and get the Epic Love Mojo Toolkit which includes: an expansive Heart Healing Meditation, her FREE eBook "How To Stop Pushing Men Away — And Get The Love You Want" and the Epic Love & Dating advice Newsletter — all found at on her website.

 

This article was originally published at DinaColada.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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