When it comes to your love-lifestyle, it's important to know what you want.
According to Internet World Stats, the most recent number of online users was 360,983,482. The word "monogamous" was searched 135,000 times on Google in one month. That's a measly .037% of Googlers looking for monogamy, at least in their Google search box.
In comparison, the word "polyamory" was searched on Google 110,000 times worldwide. That's a whopping .030% looking for polygamous information online in one month. Are these stats an indicator of what kinds of relationships people are looking for? Or are they just numbers?
My monogamous friends would say being monogamous is challenging, but they wouldn't have it any other way, and they can't imagine life without their partner. However, my more openly loving, polyamorous friends wouldn't have their lives any other way, either. Has the way we look at monogamy changed? Does the meaning of 'monogamy' mean something different than it did during your parents generation?
Bad Online Dates did a year-long relationship survey with hundreds of responses, mostly from North America. Here's the breakdown:
- 67% said they do not believe they were born to be with one person only.
- 78.3% said they would have a threesome.
- 60% would not disclose to their partner they had sex with a hotel bartender.
- 31% think that sometimes, cheating is okay.
Take into consideration that this is coming from a website called "Bad Online Dates." Is the high number of polyamory-friendly responses the reason why these people are having bad dates? Are a large number of the participants really more on the polyamorous side of the fence, and not on the path to monogamy? Are these folks more interested in making out with the bartender and not their partner?
It's possible that these survey takers just haven't found themselves a compatible partner, or perhaps, they're just not ready for monogamy.
The founder of "Bad Online Dates", Jennifer Kelton actually wants to turn these bad date experiences into positive ones. This website is a place where single and dating folks can turn to for support during their string of bad date stories.
The world is definitely shifting, especially when it comes to relationships and dating. More people are getting divorced because of feelings of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, bad communication, and cheating. Where do you stand with the polyamory vs monogamy debate? Do you want to have an open relationship? Or are you ready to settle down with your one true love?
The first thing you need to do is to get clear with yourself, and know for sure what you want. If you are focusing on the boyfriend that cheated on you seven times when you were 19, you might only be attracting people who are focused on polyamorous types of relationships, and not on monogamy.
I don't think monogamy is outdated, it's just not for everyone. It can be pretty complicated having two people learning to communicate effectively with one another; I can't even imagine three, four, or five, trying to all converse and be heard by each other. However, I absolutely advocate dating more than one person at a time if you are not in an exclusive relationship.
However, I don't think it's smart to sleep with all of your partners at the same time. Do you really need your life even more complicated? Not to mention, shopping for condoms and and changing your sheets continually would take up way too much time. Stay true to who you are, and find the right kind of relationship for you.
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