"Enlightened" Superiority
By Diane Spear, LCSW-R. Posted on .
Superiority: a learned behavior
Amy's predicament is common; most of us find ourselves saying something from time to time just like our parents used to say. If the parents were warm and loving, made conscious decisions, and functioned like responsible adults, learning from what they modeled will turn out well. The problem is that if description doesn't fit the parents, what comes out of our mouths sometimes isn't so kind and the thoughts we have aren't so rational. If you find yourself mimicking some parental attributes that don't lead to satisfaction, that are not ones you want to live by, there’s help. Therapy helps you look at what you learned from your parents that you like and want to build on, and what you learned that isn't so useful in life. Therapy won't make those problematic things go away, whether superiority or masochism, but through lots of hard work in treatment you'll learn to see them before you act out on them and make a spectacular mess of things.
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