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"Enlightened" Superiority

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"Enlightened" Superiority
Warning: This is another television-and-therapy post, this time with a focus on superiority.

Superiority: a learned behavior

Amy's predicament is common; most of us find ourselves saying something from time to time just like our parents used to say. If the parents were warm and loving, made conscious decisions, and functioned like responsible adults, learning from what they modeled will turn out well. The problem is that if description doesn't fit the parents, what comes out of our mouths sometimes isn't so kind and the thoughts we have aren't so rational. If you find yourself mimicking some parental attributes that don't lead to satisfaction, that are not ones you want to live by, there’s help. Therapy helps you look at what you learned from your parents that you like and want to build on, and what you learned that isn't so useful in life. Therapy won't make those problematic things go away, whether superiority or masochism, but through lots of hard work in treatment you'll learn to see them before you act out on them and make a spectacular mess of things.

 

More from YourTango: How Wedding Fever Can Ruin Your Relationship

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Diane Spear, LCSW-R

Counselor/Therapist

Diane Spear, LCSW-R, is a NYC-based psychotherapist who helps couples and individuals throughout the world find the joy in everyday life! She has been in practice for since 1995, working with older adolescents up through older adults. Check out her website at www.dianespeartherapy.com to learn more about her therapy and counseling practice and couples and relationship therapy; and be sure to read her blog.

Connect with Diane through email here, or call 212-353-0296

 

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LCSW-R
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Life Transitions
Other Articles/News by Diane Spear, LCSW-R:

How Wedding Fever Can Ruin Your Relationship

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Melissa and Tom (whose names have been changed to protect their privacy) argued as they drove to meet their vocal coach. "Why do you want to sing The Wind Beneath My Wings?" she asked. "It's such a cliché, and I'll never hear the end of it from my dad." "You're not doing much better with that Shania Twain song," ... Read more

Communications Technology Vs. Relating

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Communication is supposed to be helped by technology, right? We're available 24/7 now, through cell phones, texting, Facebook, Twitter, email, etc. We may be communicating, but are we relating? Is a Facebook friend really a friend? Is the first time you tell the person you're dating that you love them in a text? I know couples who have fights because ... Read more

"Enlightened" Returns! [EXPERTS]

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Laura Dern, Mike White, Diane Ladd, and Luke Wilson are back for another season of HBO's "Enlightened"—and I'm thrilled to have one of my favorite casts of narcissistically-challenged characters return. So much material, so little time! In just the first three episodes of the season, Amy (Laura Dern's character) has already ... Read more

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