Communications Technology Vs. Relating


Communications Technology Vs. Relating
Communications technology is supposed to bring us closer together. Are we relating more or less?

Rilke wrote gorgeous poems, but was a mostly absent and indifferent husband and father. There are understandable reasons in Rilke's background that marriage and parenthood felt suffocating to him. (Read about his life here.) He could write about love, but could not relate person-to-person. It seems that the company of others felt burdensome to him, and that's the problem! Writing to was "safer" than being with. Poor Rilke could've benefited from some good therapy!

The texts, instant messages, and emails we send are much less poetic, but the point remains: When you have a choice, do you favor remote communication or in-person relating?


Do you want to have beautiful words written to and about you for your friends to see through texts, posts, and email, or would you rather have a warm, lovely conversation with someone who's fully present? Does it have to be an either-or choice between communications technology and relating?  What do you think?  Feel free to leave comments.

And if you know someone who's more comfortable with remote communication than with relating, let them know that good treatment can help them enjoy and appreciate the satisfactions of relating!


This article was originally published at Diane Spear. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Diane Spear, LCSW-R


Diane Spear, LCSW-R, is a NYC-based psychotherapist who helps couples and individuals throughout the world find the joy in everyday life! She has been in practice since 1995, working with older adolescents up through older adults. Check out her website at to learn more about her therapy and counseling practice and couples and relationship therapy; and be sure to read her blog.

Connect with Diane through email here, or call 212-353-0296


Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LCSW-R
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Life Transitions
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