"Because You Loved Me"—Co-dependency Or Good Parenting?


"Because You Loved Me"—Co-dependency Or Good Parenting?
Is the classic Celine Dion hit a tribute to a Pygmalion lover or to a loving parent?

I kept listening and applied the words to a different scenario, that of a child speaking to a parent. The words fit, except for the "baby" in the first verse. The second scenario allowed me to enjoy the song as a description of the impact of a parent's love in a child's life.

Parenting is key

Every day I treat patients who didn't get the love they needed as children, or at least not in the way they needed it as children. Some parents meant well, but didn't understand their children's needs. Some parents were too depressed or preoccupied with tragic events in their own lives to meet their children's needs properly. Some parents were so self-involved they believed their children should accommodate them. Some of these patients have children of their own now and are coming to terms with the fact that they have unintentionally injured their children's self-esteem and shaped their personalities in the negative ways they experienced as children. Painful stuff!

Conscious parenting helps you heal and gives your child a great start!

But this insight and the things they learn as we work together in therapy can help them turn things around in their lives and for their children. For patients who begin therapy before becoming parents, parenthood becomes a chance to further heal psychologically by loving their children in healthier ways than their parents were able to do. Developing empathy and understanding, warming up emotionally to another person: These are true gifts to your child, and to yourself.

Therapy can help you turn around your parenting values and style!

If you find yourself saying things to your child that you swore you would never say to your child, therapy can help you learn to control your impulses and understand the thoughts and behaviors you want to change, so that you can actually become the parent you want to be.


This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

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Diane Spear, LCSW-R


Diane Spear, LCSW-R, is a NYC-based psychotherapist who helps couples and individuals throughout the world find the joy in everyday life! She has been in practice since 1995, working with older adolescents up through older adults. Check out her website at to learn more about her therapy and counseling practice and couples and relationship therapy; and be sure to read her blog.

Connect with Diane through email here, or call 212-353-0296


Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LCSW-R
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Life Transitions
Other Articles/News by Diane Spear, LCSW-R:

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