If you're a perfectionist, the romantic is NOT for you.
Whether you are looking to improve a good relationship, find your soulmate, or understand a difficult partner, gaining an understanding of the nine universal personality types will make you more aware of your own traits and help you appreciate your partner more, judge less, align a potential match, and possibly welcome your personality differences.
According to the Enneagram, there are nine universal personality types. Most likely you encompass pieces of all nine types, however most experts agree you possess one dominant type.
Every human being emerges from childhood with an inborn temperament and dominating personality traits. Believe it or not, your DNA encodes most personality characteristics. It is these inborn tendencies that largely determine the ways in which you adapt to your childhood environment, family members, education, and conflicts — and not the other way around.
This could very well be the reason why you may not get along with your ex-boyfriend, while his current girlfriend seems to have a soul connection. Or perhaps you and your husband get along beautifully, but you don't fare well with his family.
The Nine Personality Types And Their Best Match
1. The Perfectionist: has high standards; often critical of herself and her partner; motivated by improving people and the world around her; often seen as controlling, obsessive, judgmental; seeks perfection; wouldn't think of asking for help.
Best Match up: The Adventurer (teaches the perfectionist how to lighten up)
Worst Match up: The Romantic (not productive enough for the perfectionist)
2. The Helper: Puts her partner's needs ahead of her own; has trouble receiving; may tend to work or perform for love; good listener; masks her own feelings; prioritizes herself last; has a dire need for the others' love; will manipulate or victimize herself to get love; overly accommodating; won't speak up for herself.
Best Match up: The Asserter (can teach the helper how to speak up)
Worst Match up: The Romantic (will take advantage of the helper)
3. The Achiever: Measure herself by her success; driven; typically not in touch with her feelings or her partner's feelings; industrious; efficient; often overly competitive, narcissistic and insensitive to achieve results; may ignore her partner; preoccupied with work .
Best Match up: The Adventurer (achiever can learn how to have fun)
Worst Match up: The Peacemaker (achievers will see them as lazy and unmotivated)
4. The Romantic: Emotional and needs you to notice her; often idealistic about her relationships; creative; warm; needs you to understand her; can attract a partner very easily, but has trouble keeping her; goes to great lengths to avoid being ordinary; often moody, depressed, guilt ridden; expects excessive availability from her partner or they feel neglected.
Best Match up: The Perfectionist (ironically the perfectionist can teach herself discipline and practicality)
Worst Match up: The Helper (romantic becomes overly dependent)
5. The Observer: Curious; needs to understand every detail; a bit of a loner; may have trouble connecting in relationships; self-sufficient; doesn't want to look foolish or stupid; wise; analytical; often stubborn, and emotionally distant.
Best Match up: The Adventurer (can teach observer how to become more fun loving and broad minded)
Worst Match Up: The Asserter (they will fuel each other's anger)
6. The Loyalist: Likes safety, security; doesn't like change; seeks approval; insecure, loyal, responsible, trustworthy; does not trust easily; tends to make a great monogamous partner; sometimes paranoid; worrier, defensive, independent.
Best Match up: The Peacemaker (teaches the loyalist to take life less seriously)
Worst match up: The Achiever (loyalist will feel neglected around achievers)
7. The Adventurer: Needs freedom; short attention span; tends to get bored easily especially in relationships; likes to have fun; avoids suffering and negativity; charming, spontaneous; sometimes restless, impulsive, undisciplined, and rebellious.
Best Match up: The Observer (settles the adventurer down)
Worst Match Up: The Perfectionist (adventurer becomes resentful of the perfectionist; sees him/her as the bulwark to having fun)
8. The Asserter: Tends to be loud; somewhat aggressive; likes to take on the bully; isn't intimidated by much; needs to be heard; self-reliant; direct; protective; can be domineering, insensitive, aggressive, and controlling.
Best Match Up: The Helper (teaches the asserter vulnerability, tenderness, and concern for others)
Worst Match Up: The Observer (asserter becomes distrusting; more withdrawn)
9. The Peacemaker: Wants everyone to get along; usually the mediator; avoids conflict; takes on the other eight personalities depending on who he/she is trying to make happy; can be pleasant, generous, open-minded, stubborn, passive-aggressive, judgmental.
Best Match Up: The Achiever (peacemaker becomes more efficient and productive)
Worst Match Up: The Loyalist (peacemaker becomes more indecisive and rigid, overwhelmed by worry and anxiety)
Denise Wade Ph.D. CMRC is a Dating Mentor, Transformational Educator, Author, Researcher, and Relationship Expert. Denise empowers, teaches, and inspires women to release emotional baggage, heal past pains, identify unhealthy relationship patterns and triggers, and be seen and heard in all their relationships. She is passionate about helping women create positive, loving, long lasting relationships.