Best Match up: The Perfectionist (ironically the perfectionist can teach herself discipline and practicality)
Worst Match up: The Helper (romantic becomes overly dependent)
The Observer — Curious; needs to understand every detail; a bit of a loner; may have trouble connecting in relationships; self-sufficient; doesn't want to look foolish or stupid; wise; analytical; can be stubborn, and emotionally distant.
Best Match up: The Adventurer (can teach observer how to become more fun loving and broad minded)
Worst Match Up: The Asserter (they will fuel each other's anger)
The Loyalist — Likes safety, security; doesn't like change; seeks approval; insecure, loyal, responsible, trustworthy; does not trust easily; tends to make great monogamous partners; can be paranoid; worrier, defensive, independent.
Best Match up: The Peacemaker (teaches the loyalist to take life less seriously)
Worst match up: The Achiever (loyalist will feel neglected around achievers)
The Adventurer — Needs freedom; short attention span; tends to get bored easily especially in relationships; likes to have fun; avoids suffering and negativity; charming, spontaneous; can be restless, impulsive, undisciplined, and rebellious.
Best Match up: The Observer (settles the adventurer down)
Worst Match Up: The Perfectionist (adventurer becomes resentful of the perfectionist; sees him/her as the bulwark to having fun)
The Asserter — Tends to be loud; somewhat aggressive; likes to take on the bully; isn't intimidated by much; needs to be heard; self- reliant; direct; protective; can be domineering, insensitive, aggressive, and controlling.
Best Match Up: The Helper (teaches the asserter vulnerability, tenderness, and concern for others)
Worst Match Up: The Observer (asserter becomes distrusting; more withdrawn)
The Peacemaker — Wants everyone to get along; usually the mediator; avoids conflict; takes on the other eight personalities depending on who he/she is trying to make happy; can be pleasant, generous, open-minded, stubborn, passive-aggressive, judgmental.
Best Match Up: The Achiever (peacemaker becomes more efficient and productive)
Worst Match Up: The Loyalist (peacemaker becomes more indecisive and rigid, overwhelmed by worry and anxiety)
For more information on the nine personalities and the Enneagram visit: www.enneagraminstitute.com
Copyright © 2011 by Denise Wade, Ph.D. All rights reserved in all media. Used with permission.
Denise Wade Ph.D. CMRC is a Dating Mentor, Transformational Educator, Author, Researcher, and Relationship Expert. Denise empowers, teaches, and inspires women to release emotional baggage, heal past pains, identify unhealthy relationship patterns and triggers, and be seen and heard in all their relationships. She is passionate about helping women create positive, loving, long lasting relationships. www.sweetharmony.net
Are You My Type, Am I Yours, by Renee Baron and Elizabeth Wagele; Harper Collins, First Edition, 1995.