Several studies reveal that many individuals who control their intimate partners experienced attachment issues as infants. Control, very often, is a form of unhealthy attachment. By releasing control over your partner, you are detaching and allowing him or her to make decisions for themselves. This creates a better balance of power, a healthier relationship, and removes the resentment and parent/child dynamic.
Love is letting go of the uncontrollable and accepting the unchangeable. You and your partner both possess inner reserves and gifts of knowledge, competence, skills, and abilities to make your own choices, to represent yourselves and your own needs, to care for your own selves, and to solve your own problems. That includes the decision to be in a relationship. Holding someone hostage in a relationship or marriage, by control, does not make them stay. Keeping a partner in the parent/child dynamic does not assure you get what you want. In fact, most of the time controlling people end up not getting what they wanted…a willing partner. Ask yourself Who’s Controlling Who? Is it time for a healthy shift in empowering yourself?
Copyright © 2011 by Denise Wade, Ph.D. All rights reserved in all media. Used with permission.
Denise Wade Ph.D. is a Dating and Marriage Mentor, Transformational Author, Researcher, and Relationship Expert. Denise empowers, teaches, and inspires individuals to release emotional baggage, heal past pains, and identify unhealthy relationship patterns and triggers. She is passionate about helping singles and couples create positive, loving, long lasting relationships. www.sweetharmony.net