Have you ever heard a 3-year old demand, “I do it!!”? Unfortunately, the fearlessness we know as children often leaves many of us as adults. I have been plagued by self-doubt for much of my adult life, so I’ve taken a special interest in beating it. Below I have outlined 5 tips for gaining confidence and shedding self-doubt.
- I once received some great advice, “Take the focus off of yourself and put it on others.” Whether it’s sharing your experience and knowledge by speaking in front of a group, or volunteering for a non-profit you believe in, you are focusing on what YOU can do for someone else. This takes the thought away from your self-perceived limitations and works to build up others (which is great for Karma too!).
- So many of us focus on the negative vs. the positive. If you don’t stop and appreciate what you’ve done well and right, you are constantly operating from a place of not being good enough. An example of how your focus affects your life is as simple as driving a car. If you always focus on all the car accidents that happen (the negatives), you may choose NOT to dare to drive. But by thinking, “MOST people get in their car every day and drive without incident”, you are focusing on the positive. And thinking about failure, I’ll add, I don’t know of one living soul who has not failed at something. Failure is part of life and if you want to be successful at anything, you must learn to focus on your successes and simply learn from your failures.
- Don’t think that life is measured by the strides you take. Putting pressure on yourself to attain something you want by making large strides is a wonderful thought, but practically speaking, you’re more likely to reach a goal if you take small, manageable steps. Don’t make things overwhelming by having, for example, 3 steps to your goal. Take those 3 steps and break them down to the 5 each. By taking smaller steps, you gain confidence and momentum. Nothing helps shed self-doubt more than reaching a goal – big or small.
- Work on increasing your strengths vs. concentrating so much time improving weaknesses. It’s your strengths that get you where you want to go. You have so many natural strengths that you probably take for granted. Natural strengths are the one you don’t even need to think about. For instance, if you love to look at the big picture and have the gift of being visionary, use it! There are people out there who are very detailed oriented, who don’t have the ability to see the grand scheme of things. What a team you’d make if you each used your strengths to help each other succeed! Think about what your strengths are. Ask the people who know you. And you can also use this concept to build self-confidence in others. If you admire something about someone in your life, tell him or her!
- You have probably heard the saying, “Attitude is everything!” Do you really believe it?