50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

Why Midlife Is The Perfect Time To Reignite Your Sexual Spark

By

Why Midlife Is The Perfect Time To Reignite Your Sexual Spark
As life goes on, maintain your sex life as a central force in your relationship.
Your longterm marriage deserves a spicy sex life.

Do you believe that being "middle-aged" means that you're doomed to lead a boring and sexless existence? It certainly does not! In fact, it’s the perfect time to feel sexy, live engaged, and cultivate a rocking sex life.

Mid-life isn't about the ending of life, it's about stepping into our real selves. It begins by making the decision to turn a "Midlife Crisis" into a "Midlife Beginning".  While that process may include things like getting in shape or finding a new hobby, it also includes reinvigorating and diving into our sexuality. Many of us who have had the same partners for years push sex aside as an unimportant part of our lives. However, sex is a hugely important aspect of being in a committed relationship. If you're living together but not having sex, let's face it: you're just roommates.

More from YourTango: What's An Inner Sex Kitten?

What's so great about sex, anyway — especially in midlife?  Here are thirteen spectacular reasons to stoke your sexual fire and make sparks with your spouse:

  1. Midlife sex is about freedom. You can really explore sex without worries of children walking in. Or without the focus on "conception" or "baby production." There's a lot less pressure attached.
  2. Midlife living is about a deeper knowing of who we are. This understanding of ourselves leads to a better understanding of what we want (and need) in the bedroom, too!
  3. We get to redefine what "sex" means as a couple in mid-life. Get creative! Call yourself a sexpert; you've got years of practice.
  4. Sex allows us to practice the art of not only giving, but receiving
  5. Being older can allow you to step out of inhibitions.
  6. Sex allows us to deepen the relationship with ourselves and our partners.
  7. Deeping the relationship allows you to be vulnerable with someone you trust, which opens you up to grow your love with both yourself and another person.
  8. Playing in the bedroom leads to living more engaged outside the bedroom.
  9. Safety and trust with a long-term partner opens you up to explore more. This may mean light bondage, tantric, or simply a more sensual approach to sex.
  10. Sex reduces anxiety, amps up the endorphins, and helps keep the prostate healthier. It also helps keep our hormones working for us!
  11. Sex can allow us to believe more in our love-ability and our attractiveness.
  12. Sex increases our confidence in ourselves, our bodies, and enhances our happiness with life in general.
  13. When we have sex, we are satisfying primal needs of human connection. In this plugged-in fast-paced society, we need physical connection.

Not sure if you're ready to reengage in sex? Here's the simple truth: by making sex an important part of your relationship, it becomes priority. Not convinced? Consider how exercising makes your body crave more movement. Think of rebuilding your sex life and sex drive the way you would approach exercise. The more you exercise, the more you want to exercise.  Sex is the same. The more you have sex, the more you desire and want sex.

I've come to understand that the spark isn't to be found in a new sports car or an affair with that hot trainer. The spark we're looking for can be found within us by exploring all of our desires. And the perfect person to help us is the one that we love and trust — our partner.

What if you simply said yes instead of no to reigniting your connection with your sweetie? Aren't you — and your relationship — worth it?

Debra Smouse believes that within every woman is vibrant, passionate, and sexy being just itching to make their inner sex kitten roar.  To learn more, visit Debra's website. You can also connect with her on  Facebook or Twitter.

More from YourTango: A Secret To Happiness: Why Numbing The Pain Doesn't Work

More sex coach advice from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debra Smouse

Life Coach

You deserve to live a daily life you adore. When you listen to your heart, you can purposefully choose actions to move you towards how you want to feel.

Tarnished Southern Belle (and life coach) Debra Smouse can help you de-tangle the drama in your life, push away the need for perfection, and show you how to create a daily life that you love.

Her Intimate Circle Program, Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar begins April 27th.

Are you ready to take the reins of your life? Want to get clear about who you are and where you want to go? Get my free e-Book Open the Door: Are You Ready to Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar? *.

(*Bonus:Return the Awareness Questionnaire for a Discount on Tuition & One-on-one Coaching!)

 

Location: Dayton, OH
Credentials: BS
Other Articles/News by Debra Smouse:

Ditch Your Need for Certainty: Cultivate These Nine Traits

By

Sometimes we find ourselves on the precipice of a decision and become paralyzed. We hesitate and over-analyze.We want to know how it’s going to turn out. I hate to break it to you, kitten, but nothing in life is certain. If you want to dive into living with your whole heart and live consciously, holding out for certainty is crippling. What I've ... Read more

Me-ow! 8 Surprising Traits Of A Sex Kitten

By

Though it may be a little politically incorrect, I believe that all women have an Inner Sex Kitten inside of them. You may pooh-pooh this idea as silly, crazy or sexist. But let me tell you something, darling: my personal experiences as well as well as the results my clients have seen has convinced me that I'm on to something. I believe that each of us ... Read more

What's An Inner Sex Kitten?

By

I believe that each of us is born into this world as a bright and shiny bundle of beautiful energy and joy. We are bornworthy of being loved, cherished and adored. I believe that each of us knows what’s right for us. Our gut instincts will guide us towards our innate talents. So, here we are: these shiny, creative and innately happy creatures with an ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
paltrow-martin

Are Open Relationships A Way To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage?

A new study says we're more open to consensual nonmonogamy now than ever before — but do they work?

Brain

TODAY Is The "Grand Cross" - What It Means...

Today is a big deal in Western astrology – there is a perfect “Grand Cross” ...

Life Coach: The Questions You Should Ask Before You Commit

8 Questions You Must Ask Yourself Before You Commit To A Partner

Before you make the big choice of a partner, take time to ask some very important questions.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS