Why Midlife Is The Perfect Time To Reignite Your Sexual Spark

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Why Midlife Is The Perfect Time To Reignite Your Sexual Spark
Your longterm marriage deserves a spicy sex life.

Do you believe that being "middle-aged" means that you're doomed to lead a boring and sexless existence? It certainly does not! In fact, it’s the perfect time to feel sexy, live engaged, and cultivate a rocking sex life.

Mid-life isn't about the ending of life, it's about stepping into our real selves. It begins by making the decision to turn a "Midlife Crisis" into a "Midlife Beginning".  While that process may include things like getting in shape or finding a new hobby, it also includes reinvigorating and diving into our sexuality. Many of us who have had the same partners for years push sex aside as an unimportant part of our lives. However, sex is a hugely important aspect of being in a committed relationship. If you're living together but not having sex, let's face it: you're just roommates.

What's so great about sex, anyway — especially in midlife?  Here are thirteen spectacular reasons to stoke your sexual fire and make sparks with your spouse:

  1. Midlife sex is about freedom. You can really explore sex without worries of children walking in. Or without the focus on "conception" or "baby production." There's a lot less pressure attached.
  2. Midlife living is about a deeper knowing of who we are. This understanding of ourselves leads to a better understanding of what we want (and need) in the bedroom, too!
  3. We get to redefine what "sex" means as a couple in mid-life. Get creative! Call yourself a sexpert; you've got years of practice.
  4. Sex allows us to practice the art of not only giving, but receiving
  5. Being older can allow you to step out of inhibitions.
  6. Sex allows us to deepen the relationship with ourselves and our partners.
  7. Deeping the relationship allows you to be vulnerable with someone you trust, which opens you up to grow your love with both yourself and another person.
  8. Playing in the bedroom leads to living more engaged outside the bedroom.
  9. Safety and trust with a long-term partner opens you up to explore more. This may mean light bondage, tantric, or simply a more sensual approach to sex.
  10. Sex reduces anxiety, amps up the endorphins, and helps keep the prostate healthier. It also helps keep our hormones working for us!
  11. Sex can allow us to believe more in our love-ability and our attractiveness.
  12. Sex increases our confidence in ourselves, our bodies, and enhances our happiness with life in general.
  13. When we have sex, we are satisfying primal needs of human connection. In this plugged-in fast-paced society, we need physical connection.

Not sure if you're ready to reengage in sex? Here's the simple truth: by making sex an important part of your relationship, it becomes priority. Not convinced? Consider how exercising makes your body crave more movement. Think of rebuilding your sex life and sex drive the way you would approach exercise. The more you exercise, the more you want to exercise.  Sex is the same. The more you have sex, the more you desire and want sex.

I've come to understand that the spark isn't to be found in a new sports car or an affair with that hot trainer. The spark we're looking for can be found within us by exploring all of our desires. And the perfect person to help us is the one that we love and trust — our partner.

What if you simply said yes instead of no to reigniting your connection with your sweetie? Aren't you — and your relationship — worth it?

Debra Smouse believes that within every woman is vibrant, passionate, and sexy being just itching to make their inner sex kitten roar.  To learn more, visit Debra's website. You can also connect with her on  Facebook or Twitter.

More sex coach advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debra Smouse

Life Coach

You deserve to live a daily life you adore. When you listen to your heart, you can purposefully choose actions to move you towards how you want to feel.

Tarnished Southern Belle (and life coach) Debra Smouse can help you de-tangle the drama in your life, push away the need for perfection, and show you how to create a daily life that you love.

Want to get help taking that first step in creating meaningful goals? Get crystal clear with my free e-Book Listen to Your Heart: Design a Daily Life You Adore.

Location: Dayton, OH
Credentials: BS
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