Every day, everywhere, we hide our true selves with masks and disguises as if we were attending a costume party. The woman next door puts on a mask of perfection, pretending that the PTA is the most important part of her life and that she and her husband have the perfect marriage. On Facebook, we see our high school friends cloaking themselves in disguises implying that they live perfect lives full of satisfaction and success.
And we ourselves pretend that we’ve got it all together. We wear the mask of serenity to hide a heart full of pain, and disguise our need for the approval of others. Daily, we put on the masks of “should,” and “have to,” instead of showing our true faces and revealing our deepest desires.
We create masks to cover our pain. We smile even when everything in our lives is crashing down around us. We don’t want to be (or appear) vulnerable. We don’t want to admit that we’re NOT okay. We create masks to hide our fears. The fear of failure, not fitting in or that we don’t measure up. We don't want to admit that we’re lonely or imperfect. Other masks cloak our shame. That we really feel worthless.
Masks act as distractions to keep outsiders (and ourselves) from seeing our flaws. They pull people’s attention away from our true selves, from our humanity.
When you wear these masks, you move further away from feeling sexy and alive. The longer you wear masks to disguise yourself, the less likely you’ll be happy and find satisfaction in your life. Shedding your disguises, putting your masks aside, and letting go of perfection will allow you to feel as if you can breathe.
Take off your mask and lay your disguises aside. Write yourself a permission slip to simply be you. Lean into being comfortable in your own skin. Stop trying to make everyone else happy. When you release yourself from the layers and years of numbing, you'll feel happier, more satisfied, and yes, sexier.
I guarantee that people will like you better when you drop the façade. And better yet? YOU will not only like yourself – but love yourself.
Not sure how to begin the process of removing your masks? My upcoming group coaching circle, Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar begins April 27, 2014.