ProConnect

A Man's Low Sex Drive Isn't Always A Sign of Relationship Trouble

By

A Man's Low Sex Drive Isn't Always A Sign of Relationship Trouble
Feeling the cold shoulder from your guy? Don't come to a scary conclusion just yet.
Explore the reasons why his sex drive may be low.

When a client talks to me about problems in the bedroom, I encourage her (or him) to step back and look at all the factors.  The first step is to not take it personally, because despite what you may have heard, a dip in action between the sheets isn't always a sign of a relationship in crisis.

It's not uncommon for there to be a gap between the amounts of sex each person in a relationship wants. Though I often work with women whose sex drives are much lower than their partners, a growing number of women are discovering that their drive is higher than their husband's.

More from YourTango: Me-ow! 8 Surprising Traits Of A Sex Kitten

Because our society equates being a man with always being horny, any kind of discussion around a man having the lower sex drive in a relationship can bring up all kinds of shame on both sides of the bed.

A woman may feel unattractive or undesirable and the man may feel abnormal.

The number one thing to remember is to not slip into blame or shame around the issue. Approach the sexual problem just like any other challenge in your relationship: together with an open mind and heart.

There are a dozen things that can affect a man's ability to get or maintain an erection and they have little to nothing to do with their partner.

Men, like women, worry about things, but unlike women don't have the emotional outlets of girlfriends they can talk to about their worries or stresses.  In fact, when it comes to psychological issues around sex, a recent study showed that men coming out of a divorce faked orgasms, because arousal doesn't thrive in an atmosphere of anxiety.

Beyond showing the how a divorce and throw a man's emotional strength off kilter, it illustrates the damaging affects stress and anxiety have on a man's sex drive and shows us that that men are uncomfortable talking about performance issues in the bedroom.

Though you can encourage your sweetie to open up and talk to you, don't take it personally if he doesn't.  Men often want to shield their partners from work drama or other stress and worries because they don't want their partners to see them as weak or not in control of their emotions.

More from YourTango: What's An Inner Sex Kitten?

If stress seems to be a factor, encourage your partner to talk to a therapist, begin a meditation practice, get some exercise, or play golf with his buddies. These are great ways to work through worries and decrease stress.

More sex educator advice from YourTango:

Continue Reading
 

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debra Smouse

Life Coach

You deserve to live a daily life you adore. When you listen to your heart, you can purposefully choose actions to move you towards how you want to feel.

Tarnished Southern Belle (and life coach) Debra Smouse can help you de-tangle the drama in your life, push away the need for perfection, and show you how to create a daily life that you love.

Her Intimate Circle Program, Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar begins April 27th.

Are you ready to take the reins of your life? Want to get clear about who you are and where you want to go? Get my free e-Book Open the Door: Are You Ready to Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar? *.

(*Bonus:Return the Awareness Questionnaire for a Discount on Tuition & One-on-one Coaching!)

 

Location: Dayton, OH
Credentials: BS
Other Articles/News by Debra Smouse:

Me-ow! 8 Surprising Traits Of A Sex Kitten

By

Though it may be a little politically incorrect, I believe that all women have an Inner Sex Kitten inside of them. You may pooh-pooh this idea as silly, crazy or sexist. But let me tell you something, darling: my personal experiences as well as well as the results my clients have seen has convinced me that I'm on to something. I believe that each of us ... Read more

What's An Inner Sex Kitten?

By

I believe that each of us is born into this world as a bright and shiny bundle of beautiful energy and joy. We are bornworthy of being loved, cherished and adored. I believe that each of us knows what’s right for us. Our gut instincts will guide us towards our innate talents. So, here we are: these shiny, creative and innately happy creatures with an ... Read more

How To Be Happy: Stop Numbing The Pain

By

Once upon a time, I was a very unhappy girl. My marriage was falling apart, work was stressful and I dealt with it by shopping and eating. Neither were a good habit to get into, but chips and chocolate and new linens and stuff made me feel better, even if it was just for a moment. My self esteem was at an all time low, but it was the only way I knew to cope: ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Girl Decorates Easter Eggs

Are You Addicted To Comfort?

Don't be afraid to push the envelope—you'll achieve greater happiness.

Woman Weighing Herself

How to Lose Weight Without Dieting

10 Steps to integrating mindful eating- find peace, calmness and sanity around food and in your body

Cuffs

The Ties that Bind

The NEW D/s dynamic and its power to conquer your fears.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS