Hey, You: Love Is Your Birthright

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Life Coach: Embrace The Power Of Love
You don't have to hustle for love, darling.

When I constantly have the same conversation with multiple clients, both men and women, around the same topic, I know that it's important to talk about here at YourTango. I'm going to be straight with you, kitten:

You do not need to earn love; it is your birthright.

 

You are born into this world deserving of belonging and worthy of being loved as you are. You don't need to mold yourself into someone’s ideal or hustle for love. Nope, you are loveable as you are. Imperfections and all.

This is certainly contrary to what I grew up believing about love. As a little girl, I believed that in order to be loved, I had to be a good girl and follow the rules. I had to get good grades, not talk in class, and clean my room. That if I failed to do those things perfectly, then all the affection would be withdrawn.

I also grew up witnessing and therefore believing that the way to keep a relationship  in control and on path, then you had to criticize and shame people into behaving the way that you believed was right.

A decade ago, I would have told you that love meant obligation. Love meant giving up who you are for someone else. Love was small and narrow and rare. Love was something you had to bend and mold and beg for. Love meant needing to stand in ideal perfection of what others expected you to be.

I would have also told you that you had to be UP in the business of a loved one — performing, engaging, and hustling to be seen as worthy.

Five years ago, my definition of love began to shift. I began to learn that love didn't have to be rare and it sure didn't have to mean obligation. That maybe, love wasn't hard.

It's taken years to get my arms around that concept.

Today, I have come to fully understand that love isn't about hustle. It isn't something that is hard or narrow or obligatory. Love is acceptance, allowing, and being. Love is keeping the purest form of yourself. I know that love is in the ordinary of every day living. Love is seen in the side-by-side companionship of acceptance. Love is in the simple art of creating a life that is breathable and supportive.

Love isn't only seen on Valentine's day and Christmas. Love is boundless and endless.

And you get to choose love. Each and every moment.  You don't have to wait for it to choose you. No, darling, love chose you from the moment you were born. It is our birthright.

Debra Smouse believes in creating a daily life that you love. Visit Debra's website and connect with her on Facebook or Twitter.

More fabulous love advice from YourTango:

This article was originally published at Debra Smouse Create a Life You Love . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Debra Smouse

Life Coach

You deserve to live a daily life you adore. When you listen to your heart, you can purposefully choose actions to move you towards how you want to feel.

Tarnished Southern Belle (and life coach) Debra Smouse can help you de-tangle the drama in your life, push away the need for perfection, and show you how to create a daily life that you love.

Ready to ditch resolutions and choose a "theme" for your year instead? Get some help with my free e-Book Create a Year You Love: Choosing Your 2015 Touchstones.

Location: Dayton, OH
Credentials: BS
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