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Are You Just 'Going Through The Motions' In Life? Take Control Back!

It's your life

Living life on autopilot is dull and pathetic! Make the choice to be ALL IN!

The nostalgia of good memories live alongside the legacy of unhappy memories.

The mix of those memories—the good and the bad—create traditions and muscle-memory type reactions to the any big events in our lives. Just like the way we grew up living influences the way we react to living our everyday lives.

In my childhood and my first marriage—on many of the big days (like holidays) the name of the game was survival.

What to wear, what time to show up, and what specific role to play. There was no leeway to go left or right. In fact, I didn’t believe that there was a choice in how I was to behave and what I was to do. Looking back, I am now able to see that all of those years, I was going through the motions of an unconscious existence.

In the deepest recesses of my soul, I knew that there was more to the daily act of living than I was experiencing or seeing. But though my soul knew it, my mind couldn’t wrap around the possibility of life being different than what it was. My mind, you see, believed that it was my luck in life to just survive. To not make waves. To not wish for things to be different. To not believe in the value of my dreams, or myself. To not believe I had choices.

I see so many people spending their lives in the same way—merely going through the motions.

They move through their days trying not to make waves. They make meatloaf on Wednesdays because that’s when you always have meatloaf. They believe this is their fate. They are certain that this is what life is supposed to be—hustle, hard work and doing what’s expected. They believe they have no choice and no power to change things.

One of my favorite Chick Flicks is "The American President," with Michael Douglas and Annette Benning. There is this speech that Michael J. Fox gives about leadership and how people will crawl through the desert towards the mirage of water and drink the sand when they get there, because they long to be led.

Douglas tells him it isn’t that they drink the mirage of sand because they are so thirsty, it’s because they don’t know the difference.

I have become convinced that many of those people living life on autopilot, just going through the motions and simply existing—are doing so because they also don’t know the difference.

They are drinking the proverbial sand because they believe it’s water. They are living life unconsciously.

But, kitten, here’s the deal—you don’t have to be one of those people. You don’t have to subsist on sand when your body and soul are thirsty for water. You don’t have to live an unconscious life.

You can create a daily life that is nurturing and fulfilling. You can create a daily life that makes you excited to wake up and dive into your day. You have a choice. Each and every moment is a choice. Life is not hopeless. Life is not about survival. You do not have to go through any day like the ones that came before it.

You get to be the leader in your own life.

For some (me, a decade ago), that concept was so foreign that it can’t be imagined. I believed that it was only a choice for people with money or celebrity status. But, darling, it’s a choice for me. And it’s a choice for YOU.

Ponder what that could mean to you. What could your daily life look like? What would it feel like to wake up every morning and choose to live that day to its fullest? How would it feel to create rituals that connects you to your own sacred self and the sacred in the world around you?

Because, darling, you don’t have to drink the sand. You get to create a daily life that you love.

A self-admitted Tarnished Southern Belle, Debra Smouse is a life coach living in Dayton, Ohio. She believes in order to live happily ever after, you have to create a daily life you love. Connect with her at, on Facebook, and Twitter.


This article was originally published at DebraSmouse.Com. Reprinted with permission from the author.


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