Step 3: Monitor feelings.
Notice how you are feeling. When you feel bad, take this is a sign that you need to change something – usually what you are thinking about or how you are thinking. For example, if you feel discouraged about something, acknowledge the feeling and take a moment to understand why you feel discouraged. Then, find a thought that feels better. For example, if you had an argument with your spouse today it seems reasonable to feel discouraged. Accept it for a moment. Then change the thought to “We have argued before and we always work things out. I will figure out if there is anything I might do differently to lessen future arguments. I will make a list of all the things I love about my spouse.” Then get in touch with how you will feel when you are getting along well. It is important to feel as if everything you want is already here. This changes your brain.
Step 4: Look for evidence.
As you go through your day, notice even the tiniest sign that what you want in your life is starting to show up. Notice when your child does what you asked them to do and let them know you noticed – even if they only do it once amongst zillions of times they don’t. Notice when your partner does something nice for you, no matter how small. Notice when you feel good – even if it only lasted a few minutes. Notice when your spouse remembers to take out the garbage. Notice how good it feels to deposit money in the back. You are training your brain by focusing on what you want and noticing it when it shows up.
Step 5: Express gratitude.
Be thankful for all the things you love about your life. Be specific and train yourself to notice the little things if you are struggling to find positive things to be thankful about. When you wake up in the morning or before you fall asleep at night, run through a list of things you are grateful for. Here’s an example. “I am thankful for this comfortable bed; that I made it through another day; that I am alive to enjoy the sound of the birds singing; that my child was respectful once today; that I know how to meet new people; that I am learning to be grateful; that my husband kissed me when he left for work; that I am alive…”
Next, express gratitude for the things you want that haven’t shown up yet. “I am thankful that I have enough money to pay my bills; I am thankful that I have found the perfect home; I am thankful my kids are behaving better now; I am grateful I am in a healthy relationship; I am grateful I am learning to deliberately train my brain”. Make sure to include gratitude for the things that you set your intention to receive in step 2.
Practice these five steps to create your best year yet. You will be amazed at how well this process works.