With nothing intelligent to do with my time, I decided to wander into a local eatery for a happy hour snack and beverage. I've discovered that happy hour is a great place to meet people, and it provides wonderful opportunities for me to ask questions and stay abreast of the astonishing things going on in the minds of single men and women in the dating world. This past Monday I rolled in, parked my butt on a stool, and ordered nachos and a margarita. Recognizing me from a few weeks ago, a gentleman ran over to my table to ask how my research was going and what fascinating things I'd learned about the opposite sex since we last spoke. He and I chatted for a few minutes, then he whispered that he had a question for me. "Shoot" I say. "Women seem to spend a lot of time intentionally ignoring men, not giving eye contact, paying zero attention...being totally self-absorbed, etc." he said. "How do you notice guys? Does a guy ever catch your eye?" Did I say astonishing? Perhaps "jaw droppingly unf'in believable" would be more appropriately descriptive. Taking a big swig of my tasty beverage, I had to explain to the young man (who was at least 35 and should know better) that women are not self-absorbed, men are. Really, for him to think that because he showed up there should be a drum roll, house lights would dim, and all eyes would be on him is a fantasy and a dream. Apparently he believed because he showed up and wanted female attention, women were supposed to drop whatever they were thinking about or doing and make him the focus of their existence. It took every ounce of control I had not to laugh in his face. Sometimes I even surprise myself with my restraint. Politely I asked him where he got the notion that he was a God. What I really wanted to say was "what a dork, can you get a clue?!" Guys need to understand this - Women look at men when they are interested, and completely ignore you when they are not interested. If a woman is not looking at YOU, that means she is not interested in YOU for whatever reason she has. She could already have a boyfriend, a husband, or someone she is focused on making her boyfriend. Could be that she is thinking about the job interview she has in an hour, the hot date she has tonight and what to wear, worrying about her sick mother, the cost of her upcoming vacation, or concerned about the fight she had with her sister. Women have a lot to think about that does not have anything to do with men. What men also don't understand is that women have "check you out" skills that are comparable to lightspeed. Unlike men, we don't have to stare for 5 minutes to get the whole picture. A woman can glance at you and in less than 3 seconds assess your confidence, body build and fitness, attitude, hygiene, marital status, intelligence, health, physical prowess, social skills, financial status, and thus, her interest. If she looks then looks away and NEVER LOOKS AT YOU AGAIN, you didn't make the cut. Move on. Now if she looks at you a second time, she has questions and is looking deeper. If she looks a third time and smiles, you've caught her eye and you need to seize the opportunity presented. Women will make eye contact with men they feel are on their level, and prefer not to encourage those that don't stand a chance. Accept that women's worlds do not revolve around men and no woman owes you her attention, time, conversation or even a smile. If you get a woman's attention, feel blessed. Single women are not here to make every guy feel better about himself, only the man she deems worthy. And that may or may not be you.
