Knowing when to say no is the key that allows you to say yes to the things that really matter.
By Deborah Bishop — Written on Jul 24, 2013
One of the issues entrepreneurs, leaders and such have, is that they all too often say "yes" and they no longer have the time it really takes to be truly successful. The side effect of this, which can become a real issue, is that when you say "yes" too often, you become very busy. When you are very busy, you can feel as though you are accomplishing things and loose sight of your goals. In essence, it feels as though you are moving forward because you have so much going on. It's only when, through sheer exhaustion, you actually stop long enough to catch your breath that you realize you are no closer to where you wanted to be, you've just been busy! Worse than that even, you may find yourself further away from your goals, which is what happened to me after a solid three years of being extremely busy.
It was incrediblely painful for me to have that awakening as it brought my awareness to a place it deserved to be, which opened my eyes to how far off track I had become. Three years is a long time when you consider you will not get it back again. However, it was also a great lesson for me to experience as it allows me to offer some sage words of advice today and hopefully preempt you from doing the same.
First and foremost. You deserve time off. If you don't take time off, your productivity is decreased, which means you work harder for less. You cannot keep running and expect to do your best work. Take a day off, every week. At the very least, an afternoon and evening with the intent of taking the whole day ASAP. Recharge your batteries so you can be productive. You'll be amazed at what you can achieve when you do this.
Next, make sure you are not saying "yes" out of guilt. Do not commit to things because you think you have to. This is the worst type of committment because it's not genuine and it will do nothing but drain you. Stop that!
Also, I respect everyone's philanthropic desire and always commend being of service as part of a successful life. Volunteering, or giving back, brings a lot of satisfaction. However, if you are giving back and you don't have the energy or resources, to truly gift, then you need to pay attention. This is the time for you to realize you deserve to love yourself enough to build your resources first and that may mean you may have to limit your service work with the goal of increasing it over time. Sometimes just having this as one of your goals assists you in staying focused.
More personal development coach advice from YourTango:
Bad Body Image? 15 Ways To Improve Your Self-Esteem
3 Simple Steps To Improve Your Self-Confidence
More for You:
Finally, know where you are headed and why. Understand your motivation and show up for yourself. The fact is that it's only when you can show up for yourself that you are truly able to show up for others. When you put your path firmly in front of you then you can choose to say "yes" to the things that not only work for others but for you as well. When you know what to say "no" to you can say "yes" with conviction.