Why You Attract Men Who Are Bad News


Why You Attract Men Who Are Bad News
How to stop being a jerk magnet.

When I saw the episode of The Bachelorette, the situation inspired me to write this article. Ashley feared that the guy she was attracted to wouldn’t like her back. She feared that he wished she was the other girl from last season. She said this over and over in her interviews. Instead of focusing on finding true love, her energy was more focused on being rejected. Out of all the nice guys, she picked the one guy that fulfilled her biggest fear. And…she created a monster.

The good news is that you can start to look at these situations and take responsibility for them. You can ask yourself, what have I been focused on to generate this experience? If you are truly honest with yourself, you will see the pattern of energy that drew that cheating or unavailable man or your dateless weekends. Identify your biggest fear about your relationship life and you will see how you have been manifesting your love problems all along.


Don’t use this realization as a way to beat yourself up, but to empower you to shift your feelings so you can create what you do want instead of being the victim of circumstance. Although fear is the default, you can retrain your habit of feeling. Daily visualization engaging the feeling of love and coupling that with conscious awareness of your feelings throughout the day will make a huge impact on the type of men (or women) you attract into your life.

Within 90 days, you can get into a new habit of feeling so that is more natural for you to be hopeful rather than discouraged. The challenge is not to let outside influences shake your center and suck you back in to the old negativity. Learning this takes practice, but is worth all the wonderful rewards. Being able to shift your energy from fear to hope can be done.

It is too early in the season to see if Ashley will get out of “fear mode” and really engage in the feelings of true love so that she can be drawn to the man that will deliver that for her. I wish I could tell her what I am telling you now. You are now armed with the inside secret of attraction so you won’t fall for the same trap again. You can begin today by changing your focus and you will be amazed at how powerful you are.

Thank the jerks for making you aware of your misalignment and let them go. As you refocus your energy, a new, wonderful man (or woman) will be drawn to you.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
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Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of CreativeLove.com, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: CHT
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