Sharon is really excited about this guy she just met named Michael. He is really sexy and exciting, but always seems to call her at late night hours after a night out on the town and often cancels dates with her hours prior to their meeting. She knows he is unpredictable and admittedly non-committal, but she just can’t walk away because she thinks she’s in love.
Then there is Brad, the new guy from her best friend’s office, who is handsome, stable and wants a family. Sharon goes out with him a few times because he is so “good on paper” but she feels no spark. She will put off plans with Brad just in case Michael calls. Ultimately, Brad will tire of her games and find a new girlfriend who is willing to commit. It is at that point that Sharon becomes interested in him….when it is too late.
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Sharon was like me most of my dating life. I was always falling for the wrong guy and left heartbroken while dismissing many wonderful men who were interested in me. My head wanted a lasting relationship but my heart wanted the bad boys. In the game of love, our heart always wins, but the prize is often a disappointment. Why can’t the head and heart want the same guy?
The reason we go for the ones we can’t have is because our heart is not logical. Familiar with the pain of love, it drives us to what it knows…more heartache. For many singles, your heart was hurt a long time ago when you reached out for love and affection wasn’t returned. Almost every child experiences rejection and, even an unintentional slight from a parent can be misinterpreted by the child. As adults, you search for the same distant, dysfunctional relationship to make it right only to end up in distress once again.
These patterns are so ingrained in you that no matter what common sense you seem to have in other areas of life, in matters of the heart you act impulsively with your emotions. In order to have a healthy relationship, you have to train your heart (feeling mind) to crave healthy love. Easier said than done because we are creatures of habit, but I found that mind repatterning meditations are a powerful way to create a new reality in your love life.
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Simply taking fifteen minutes a day to imagine yourself in love with your ideal partner is like having training wheels for the deep mind to get in alignment with what your head wants – true love. The relaxation in a trance state brings the head and heart together for a unified goal – a lasting, healthy relationship. In as little as 30 days, you may see your tastes changing in the opposite sex and boundaries set with those who mistreat you.
This process naturally increases your confidence and you do not have to resort to acting or playing games. Once your heart is comfortable and healed with love inside, you will be irresistible to the opposite sex and only be attracted to those who will make your heart and head happy.