Why Aren't You Married? Facing Your Love Alibi

By

Why Aren't You Married? Facing Your Love Alibi
A Love Alibi is an excuse you give for why you aren't married. Found out how this keeps love away.

If you are over 30 and single, you have certainly heard the question, “Why aren’t you married?” There is an subtle undercurrent that goes with the question and you may interpret their prodding into your love life as if they are saying “What is wrong with you?” or “I can’t believe someone like you is still single!”

First of all, there is nothing wrong with being single. Society has made us believe that singles are “less than” if they are not a couple. Actually, I met plenty of “marrieds” who secretly wish they had your freedom, wished they didn’t settle, and just want you to suffer with them in their boring coupled-world. If you are divorced, you may have experienced being thrust out of the couples club and then, after a period of healing, asked the question, “When are you getting married…again?”

Of course, every person has their canned answer because they have faced this question countless times. How you respond to the “Why aren’t you married?” inquiry can give you clue of what is blocking you from true love. I call it your “Love Alibi” or the rationalization you give to yourself and others for not having the love you want. These alibis, though they sound reasonable, are often just lies that keep you from remembering your true power.

You may tell others that “I just haven’t met the right person yet,” but you complain to your close friends that “Men just don’t like to commit” or “There is nowhere a woman my age can go to meet quality men.” The most popular one I hear is “I just don’t meet anyone that I have a connection with.” The reason these responses are lies is because they put you in a powerless position, as if you are waiting for some external force to come in and bless you with true love. They are basically a lot of B.S. that keep you stuck as your deep mind is taking note of your limiting thinking.

What is your Love Alibi and do you really believe it? Do you doubt your own power to attract the love of your life, waiting for fate to lend you a hand? Every time you use an excuse for why you don’t have the love you want, you are sending a message to your deep mind that you don’t have a choice. If that is true, then why bother learning about the law of attraction when you believe it really isn’t up to you anyway?

Alibis are a lazy person’s way of sitting back and waiting for life to happen. Complaining and feeling like the victim can be a huge distraction from finding out the real truth as to why you aren’t married. Your subconscious mind hears your limitations and creates exactly what you keep telling people you are experiencing…”not enough men,” “nowhere to find them,” “I am too old,” or even the famous “I haven’t met the right person yet” is backward facing and not propelling you forward into a new future.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debi Berndt

Author

Debi Berndt is the co-founder of CreativeLove.com, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Debi Berndt:

Feeling That Crazy Chemistry? Watch Out! It May Be A Red Flag

By

Finding love should be as easy as following your feelings. If you look for chemistry, you cannot make a mistake, right? Wrong. The truth about default chemistry is that it is not related to love at all. If you are centering your love decisions on this feeling, you are sure to be heartbroken. Chemistry is what everyone is searching for in a partner. You ... Read more

Why You Must Stop Believing The Alpha Male Hype

By

The dating world is flooded with this idea of how to get an alpha male and how to be an alpha male. While the "alpha" concept on the surface seems reasonable, you want a confident person and attract a confident person but I believe this advice can lead to heartache for both men and women. The people who teach this don’t realize that there is ... Read more

Afraid You'll Never Find Love? Get Over It

By

Do you feel that no matter what you do, nothing seems to work out for you in your love life? The years are passing and you fear that you will be spending the rest of your life alone. Sometimes the fear is so great that you break down and get triggered after a bad date or someone you liked fell away. Your fearful ego is driving your efforts and, instead of ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular