Singles, who are you talking to?


Singles, who are you talking to?
Beware that the chattermind can lead you down the wrong path, tear you down and keep you single.

You wake up in the morning and immediately it starts to talk. What time is it, what do I have to do today, what did I do yesterday, why didn’t he call, do I have to go to the wedding next month alone, etc., etc. The chattering mind kicks up and starts trying to solve all the problems it seems to think you have in your life. From small details like what you should wear that day to how to solve that big “single” problem you are having. You haven’t noticed the activity during the night, except for some strange dreams, but this chattering mind is always talking to you.

Take a moment now and stop reading this article. Close your eyes and listen to that voice. 99% of what this chatter voice tells is either neutral or negative. Very rarely does it give you a pat on the back or accolades for a recent achievement. This chattering mind is a recorded tape of every conversation you ever heard throughout your life replaying itself over and over; most of the dramatic themes were imprinted before you were ten.


Left on its own, this chatterbox will continue to feed you the same old opinions that your mother or father did. It cleverly disguises itself with rational thinking and the misguided advice that the past is a predictor of the future. For the most part you may agree with her opinions, believing that you are too old, there are not enough men or you don’t know where to look to find love. The chatter has won and gets to survive another day.

The primary goal of this chatter is to keep you in the status quo. Since its source is in the subconscious mind, the chatter themes are hard to change because the core ideas are protected by a seal that affirmations cannot penetrate. You may try to change your thoughts but it will feel as if you are shouting to someone who is in a glass container and cannot hear what you are saying.

You may not notice the voice as it runs all day long and dictates the quality of your life. This voice tells you to give up, to be afraid, stop believing in miracles and looks for proof as to why you won’t find love instead of supporting you. This voice makes you feel bad about yourself when the guy you like doesn’t call and she tells you that you are too fat, not pretty enough or boring. She pretends to be your partner as she keeps having you focus on the mechanics “how” you will find love, but she (or he) is your enemy when it comes to finding love. She doesn't like change and clings to the familiar self-deprication like comfort food.

You can win over this nemesis by not being fooled by her tricks to keep you single. She tells you lie after lie about yourself and your future possibilities for extraordinary love. Stop believing her. Instead, be quiet for a moment and listen to another, quieter voice that you may or may not be familiar with yet. There is a soft voice that loves you, believes in you and knows who you really are. She is your divine self, your truth.

What you think you create in your life. Each thought has a vibration that either draws love to you or pushes love away. You cannot monitor the tens of thousands of thoughts you have every day, all day long so there are two basic solutions.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
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