Learning to Trust & Stop Predicting Your Love Life

By

Learning to Trust & Stop Predicting Your Love Life
You don't have a GPS for love. All you have is trust and faith.

I remember the day when I was driving to work in my brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee thinking about the layoffs that were going to happen in a few hours. Not being sure if my job was safe, I wondered if this was going to be the last day I would be on this road that took me to my office near Boulder, Colorado. The mood was quiet all morning and then I got the fated call from one of the officers of the company. That familiar sinking feeling came over me and I just knew what was ahead of me.


For months leading up to this moment I had grown increasingly unsatisfied with the corporate world and wanted to break free. I dreamed of the time I could do what I really loved and be self-employed. A few days earlier, I received a brochure in the mail from a Hypnotherapy School and I took it as a sign that I was ready to make a change. I wasn’t making the shift on my own, so I believed that my layoff was a big push from the universe. What held me back for so long is that my fear kept predicting a future of poverty if I left the comforts of secure employment.

 


If I had prayed to keep my job, I would never be where I am today. The transition was difficult and scary, but the move from corporate to self-employed was worth going through the fire. Only a year earlier I was praying that my fiancé would change his mind about having children so we didn’t have to break up. Now I am so glad that I didn’t settle just to be married. At these times, fear tried to predict a future of poverty and loneliness. We all think we know what is best for us and we resist the challenges that are presented thinking that we are just having bad luck.


What makes our life interesting is that we cannot see the future. If we did, it would be like doing a puzzle that we already have figured out or watching a movie that we already know the ending. We resist this unknown and try to force a future that we think is in our best interest without seeing the whole picture. When times are difficult, we must remember that there is something greater inside of us that can see more than we can perceive. This wiser part wants the best for us and we need to trust it more.


After I got my business set up and my life stable, I then became impatient with finding my true love. I was helping my clients attract their ideal partner and I was frustrated that hypnosis still wasn’t working for me. Looking back now I can see that every experience during that time exposed a part of me that I needed to heal and by going through those pseudo-relationships I learned to love myself a little more. My ideal guy was also not even living in Colorado or ready for a committed relationship until a few months before we met. Everything was working out perfectly behind the scenes when on the surface my life seemed so chaotic.


Many singles struggle with the “how” they are going to find love. They run scenario after scenario in their mind as to when and how they could possibly meet someone until they get dizzy and feel deflated. The tension builds because they are trying to control their destiny. I don’t recall anyone who clearly saw how the pieces fell together that led them to love before it actually happened. We don’t have a GPS for true love. All you have is faith to rely upon and that can be so hard to maintain.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debi Berndt

Author

Debi Berndt is the co-founder of CreativeLove.com, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Debi Berndt:

Still Single? Here's Why You Need To Be Committed To Finding Love

By

When you think of marriage or other committed relationships, it is natural to also think that the commitment is bound by feelings. Sure you want to have loving feelings for the person you spend your life with, but the commitment piece should not be driven by feelings. This main reason for divorce or breakups is that people “fall out of love” and ... Read more

Are You Waiting To Win The Love Lottery? Then Stop Playing...

By

There is a huge difference between wanting a relationship and being emotionally ready to be in one. One of the main reasons why I see people struggle in finding love is that they are waiting for the relationship to come in and change their life instead of changing their life so they can have the relationship. Staying single may be how you find love. Do you ... Read more

Feeling That Crazy Chemistry? Watch Out! It May Be A Red Flag

By

Finding love should be as easy as following your feelings. If you look for chemistry, you cannot make a mistake, right? Wrong. The truth about default chemistry is that it is not related to love at all. If you are centering your love decisions on this feeling, you are sure to be heartbroken. Chemistry is what everyone is searching for in a partner. You ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular